Narcissistic Personality Disorder 1

Amida CARLUS

1 week ago

Now I feel less guilty to stop running like a prey , I face him and and I focus on my own agenda ! Thak you for paving the way for us , now I want to be like you , doing my best to make intelligence win a point in all the Universe! warm hugs to you DoctorRamani !

mnikaluza yuwaste

1 week ago

He wants my “dream” to be taking care of him the rest of my life

It took me so many years to make the step and to file for divorce!

I did it, I lost everything but my children,

I lost my home, my old life and my old me

I knew that I had to let go in order to recreate my life

It was painful and devastating, my narcissistic ex husband did't stop at anything, after a 20year marriage.

I knew I had to get out, having had my life and my children was all I had and I knew that's already A LOT!

Now I'm thriving, I started a new career 2 years ago, I became a Kambo practitioner and a healer

I'm a strong person but going through narcissistic abuse is beyond anything I could have ever imagined.

I still go through stuff, 2 years later, being involved in a high conflict divorce but at some point I let all go and realized that I have my life, my children and my dreams and visions and that's a gift that I was able to safe this from my narcissist ex.

I am happy I have a foundation I build myself, and I am going from there, it takes time, it takes work, there are days that are though but it's possible, as long as you have your life, your dreams, visions you can rebuild and everything will fall into place!

Be your own source of supply, validate your feelings and the feelings of people around you, let the narcissist go, no contact is the only way.

It is a superpower to go through this, I acknowledge and honor my superpowers:-)

Thank you Dr. Ramani for all the insights and information, it helped me a lot!

Blessings to you all all the people that are going through this, always come back to the light in yourself and go from there

I had to go no contact with my parents finally at age fifty.my stepDad was an overt my mother was a covert...I'll take rages and threats over the gaslighting ANY DAY..my mother financially ruined me by actually pretending to BE ME took out credit cards so she could buy the best while she knew I lived in poverty and struggled to keep the heat on..I'm single so it was hard but over time I learned not to share any secrets with her or she would use them to exploit me even in front of other people..triangulation with my friends..even with my x husband...I think I've said enough..oh ya one more thing...THANK YOU💗

Teema

1 week ago (edited)

I relate to this. I had so many interests and dreams before they were crushed out of me. Now at this age I feel scared to reignite the flames. I am scared of failing, and I feel like I lost the passion I once had. When I see people around me achieve the things I could have achieved by now I feel angry, hurt, small, powerless and no longer capable. I feel like so much was taken from me even though at this point I am free of my abuser. The abuser is gone, but my time also went with them. All those years wasted. My energy, my persistence, faded. I want to over come this, and I hate to see anyone else go through it.

I did resist and I claimed my life as my own a few years ago. I did make some of my dreams come true, things I never thought would come true. I am recovering, but I still feel like things could have been different had I been loved and supported the way I deserved. I am still fighting the voice of my abuser in my mind, and still feel trapped in some ways. I don't want to give up.

Fizzgig

1 week ago (edited)

I 💜 You. Also, thank you. 💪

*Currently building strength to tell my own story. 100% appreciate those who can and do. 💜💪

Tai Baschieri

1 week ago (edited)

I had lost interest in life because of the abuse.. And now my interests are returning, but the sacrifice has been overwhelming! I have had to give up my grandchildren!

My narcissist cut me off from my family and friends by convincing me they weren't on my side or worth my time or something... I don't have really clear memories from those 2 years. He broke down my confidence and character. As soon as I left I felt like I had been brainwashed. And I still feel the effects today. Since leaving I have dealt with chronic pain and depression. After several years of struggling to get by, I have had to stop working due to the pain. I have just yesterday been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I still sometimes say my Narcs name when referring to my current wonderfully loving partner.... :(

Beau La Breche

5 days ago

I've been looking for help for problems I've dealt with since I was three and a half and my insurance won't cover it and I'm at the end of my rope I can't work I can't be around people I can't function as a regular human being at all and your videos trying to help but really I'm still stuck trying to figure out how to survive all the mental abuse that I've had.

camerrill

5 days ago

Thank you for this heartening message. How loving, encouraging, and optimistic. You are a bodhisattva.

The narcissists in my life seemed to actively work in preventing me from reaching my fuller potential at a younger age. At age 60 I am finally seeing things from a more conscious, informed perspective. As an artist, I’ve a large body of work behind me which I am proud of and can now reflected my psychological states of being. Now I am able to fully integrate what I have experienced and learned to gain confidence in working from a more spontaneous fashion. In addition, I will no longer allow my sense of self and self-esteem to be rattled by the remaining narcissist(s). I was the “Scapegoat” child and I have depression with anxiety and bipolar II, PTSD....have suffered disassociative disorder, etc.. due to not only parent but GC/super N older sister who is a crown wearer for the disorder. I could go on and on... Younger sister acknowledges, agrees and shares some of same abuse but was not primary target of abuse and hence somewhat of flying monkey enabler. We have together overcome in one way through the years by finding the humor in in it. The laughter for me is intoxicating and powerful.

What I gave up for my marriage of 22 years was everything! I stayed home to raise our children--the one blessing I can take away from all this--so my husband controlled all the money. I worked diligently day and night to provide a sparkling clean home, made-from-scratch meals, well mannered and intelligent children, and amazing holidays for him. He gave me an allowance that I had to stretch to meet all the bills, leaving me to feed a family of 7 on $50 a week, while he kept up to $1000 on hand at all times in order to buy the things he desired. At one point he owned 19 cars, while I owned exactly 1 pair of pants, wore shoes with the soles split open, and vacuumed the carpet on my hands and knees with a Dust Buster. No matter what I needed, he needed something more, and I believed that if I could just be perfect and not ask for anything, he would finally love me. I reached a point of attempting suicide when I realized that water and air to breathe were the only things left for me to give up. As our children grew older, he found that he could no longer control us all with just his rage, so he began to hit our pets and, eventually, my children. The night he attacked me, my daughters ran for help and 3 police officers escorted us from our home. I moved out with 2 of my girls and have remained separated for 12 years. I had forgotten who I was, what I liked doing, and any dreams I had ever had. It took a long time to realize that I didn't need anyone's permission to go to a store or stay up late or eat whatever I wanted. It's these little things that told me I was truly free and I have discovered how it feels to love my life!

103

karen j

4 days ago

I've escaped and am now starting my own business which I will run on my own terms. I used to take other people very seriously. Now I know better.

Robert Lea

1 week ago

I’ve lived with a narcissistic family, all of my in-laws for many years. Trust me, these people have no boundary’s or feelings. It’s all fake!!!

Contemporary King

1 week ago

I gave up all of my friends and released my music project the following year. All of the people from the past are behind me, and I’m releasing my album this year .

Janette Fisher

1 week ago

Really needed to hear this. Just left my wife beating Narc Husband of 3 years for the last time. He ruined my life and left me feeling humiliated

mithun mohan

1 week ago

It’s like massive success is the best revenge. Also personally I feel this is one of the few videos where the Doctor’s emotions came to the fore.

Thank you, Dr. Ramani. I needed to hear your words. I’ve been performing since I was tiny, but I grew up in a narc family and never felt good or talented enough. My dream was to dance and that’s what I do in all my daydreams but I haven’t done it in real life in so long.

I’ve been married to a narc for 19 years and am working up the courage to leave. I may never be on broadway Or be a dance teacher like I think I was called to do but I do plan to take dance classes again and maybe become a fitness instructor.

I look forward to my brave new life.

aud

1 week ago (edited)

Talking about loss of potential, it would be interesting to hear how this narcissist phenomenon featured in parental alienation. The impacts of the children and the targeted parents is devastating, a parent and the children have to give up their relationship because of the narcissist pathology. It’s truly heartbreaking and a theft of the worst type.

Blacklea

1 week ago

Thanks so much for the timely boost of confidence in my recent decision Dr Ramani. I’m a 51yo woman who has overcome a narcissistic abusive mother and decided to finally start my own business. I was adopted to a person with undiagnosed narcissistic personality disorder along with what I suspect might have been depression after the loss of her youngest natural born child the year before I was born as adopted to her. My adoptive mother used to seesaw between rages and utter despair while maintaining an extremely distant and non affectionate relationship with me. I was most certainly the “black sheep child”and the “problem child”. I also experienced alienation from my 4 other siblings at her encouragement. I was lucky enough to to realize very young that I mayb it gave truly been the problem but years in her care did leave terrible emotional scars and a strong tendency to be mistrusting of people - especially those with narcissistic traits.

In the last few years I have cut ties and only remain connected to one sister very rarely. I’ve made a huge decision recently to give myself permission to not go to their looming funerals as my parents are in their late eighties and this decision is most beneficial for me as I do not wish to be subjected to the abuse, disdain and judgement that I will receive from the remaining family members. Posting the above clip has been such a timely message for me to receive at this point in my life. You have my deepest appreciation. Thank you Dr Ramani

Judie Ewing

1 week ago

20 years of n.a.; 5 years recovery while attending a university including lots of therapy understanding the guilt, self-loathing and getting past the hatred I felt toward my former narco. I worked day and night for 3 years and found better jobs, one by one. Now retired, but this wing-clipped chick had a great time working in family services and supporting others as they began to stand up for themselves. I really appreciate all your videos, Dr. Ramani.❤

Alison

1 week ago

Unfortunately life pulls up alot of nasty people. I just tell em straight. Always keep away from poisonous people and frenemies. Look after number 1

Sanningen

6 days ago (edited)

Remember when I worked hard for an idea and presented it to my family. My father looked at it "Pff are you going to do it with your ideas and based on who you are?" Last year he cried on my birthday and screamed that i should listen to his emotions (after I was bullied out of a job).

Tammy C.

6 days ago

At the age of 37 I finally realised that my mother is a narcissist. Then, only at the age of 39 did I find the strength to go no contact. My whole life I thought something was wrong with me, that I was worthless and unlovable and despite being confident on the outside, I had this deep longing to be accepted and loved. I turned to the affection of men and became highly promiscuous from the age of 14. I have been raped twice, first time when I was about 15 by a group of boys in the back of a car, then again when I was 17 by someone in their twenties. I blamed myself, said I deserved it. Went on to have highly dysfunctional relationships that involved physical and sexual abuse but ultimately, emotional abuse. I contracted Hepatitis B from a man who knew that he had it and refused contraception. After being diagnosed with that and at the time my grandfather passed away (I was very close to my mothers parents who genuinely loved me, which is when I first felt jealousy from my mother) - I turned to therapy. It was through therapy that I found the strength to overcome my shame and admit that I had my first sexual experience when I was 6 years old by a neighbours son who regularly babysat me. Along with these repressed memories came the memory of my mother finding out about it and covering it up, which I now know is because she was embarrassed of being seen as a neglectful - the image of the family carries more weight with her than the wellness of the family.

Now I am a 39 year old woman who has never had children even though I want them because of my highly self destructive life. I have found real love in a partner who I can't express enough gratitude for because he has helped me to understand what LOVE really is and it has helped me to finally blossom, find real connection and enjoy life with the freedom of living with shame.

Although I still feel so very, very angry with my mother. Going no contact has helped and I feel relieved and also incredibly sad. I have lost the relationship with my father, my siblings and my nieces as they believe that I am lying about my experiences in order to harm my mother - they are fiercely protective of her and they are oblivious to being under her spell as I was for so many years.

I have less anxiety these days and I'm able to monitor my depression. I still sometimes have issues with food and smoke marijuana to help manage my emotions as sometimes the anger and sadness I feel can be incredibly overwhelming.

I sometimes think of my mother as a woman and not my mother who has her own untreated trauma and also the inability to claim any accountability and I worry what will become of her.

I love life now and I have a few short years to try and conceive and God willing, I will be able to share the mothering I have done on myself on someone else.

Thank you for letting me share my story

Gratefully,

Tammy

Edie Callaway-Frazier

1 week ago

I’ve been published twice this year, and he has refused to read my article/chapter.

R P

1 week ago

My story - I feel I've been chosen by God to teach a lesson to these narcissists that come in different forms and shapes. Being a psychologist, it was not problematic for me to tackle egoist friends and people, but it became an abuse when it came from a love connection. This person initially impressed me by all means so I'd fall for him, but once he was sure that I'd stay forever, he started impressing other girls similarly, probably to have choices that he was never going to make. Since I'm always on alert about such behavior, I started analyzing him and decided that I'd stop only when I know his truth. So, he appeared to be the sweetest ever individual who gave motivational speeches in public, interacted respectfully with all, and achieved what he wanted through his determination. Being renowned for his achievements, no common girl would ever doubt this person to be so toxic inside. He soon started demeaning my identity and ignoring what I did with my professional life as if my successes and little joys were of no value. He always found another person in my profession to befriend them and make them grow, just so that people could view me as an ordinary professional in my field. Even though I knew that I was among the best in my work area, he looked down upon me as if he's much superior and I should take lessons from his accomplishments. I really did that, because it was true. I had love and admiration for his achievements and he had a sense of competition and rivalry against me. It was due to his childhood abuse and people crushing his dreams, which he overcame by his smart work, controlling behavior, and people-pleasing habits. I observed and lived with it for many years as it wasn't easy to assess this type of a narcissist who wears a powerful mask in front of the world! I didn't know my patience with him was draining me and making me weaker day by day. However, it paid off when I could see his real face after years of experiencing fake love. It happened when I publicly gave constructive feedback on one of his works and he deleted my feedback and showed hidden anger in his behavior. That was the day I decided to never look back and make something extra of myself so he gets to see my real power that was always higher than his and that he never respected. Had we worked together, we could have changed this world. I'm now outgrowing him each day and the universe is supporting me hard on it. I can't feel more blessed! This self-serving, extremely jealous person is trying to chase again and contact me through different modes, so that he can repair his covert behavior by doing me some kind of professional favor. However, it's too late as I'm receiving the best from life and he hasn't been able to find his faults as yet. This obsessive behavior also feels scary at times, but I trust God and trying to forgive him for my own good, as it stops me from falling in love again. I'm doing inner engineering and everybody can do it with some patience, hope, and trust in one's abilities.

Gordon Cunningham

1 week ago

I gave up my job, my house and my family. I was left destitute after she walked away after the idealise, devalue, discrad cycle. 2 years on I'm narc free! I'm at university, I've repaired the gulf between my family and, new flat(moving soon) Hopefully with a better job on the horizon 😀 Please take care everyone. It seems impossible(I know) But you CAN do this!

There's also the thing where the narc parent feeds off your ability and the public attention it gets while underhandedly working to sabotage and limit your potential in hidden ways; I got to the point where I refused to engage my genius in any way at all because I didn't want to give her anything that she could feed off, I'd had my desires fed on so many times that I just couldn't keep going and keep dreams alive. I learned to hide everything because if she knew ANYTHING about what I might want she'd make a point of holding it up to derision, mockery and then making a big show of taking any possibility away from me. I've had to work so, so hard to even remember that there are things that I love, that I might desire, because I rammed my desire so far down into the depths of me that I convinced myself I never had any to begin with; staying distant from life, as if observing everything through a window, was the way I learned was most conducive to staying alive in some way. So many decades of rebuilding...

ohlssonster

1 week ago

Dr Ramani. I wish I found you when I myself went through this, but happy I'm out of it and feels good being able listening to you on this topic having it all in the rearview mirror.

Thank you for everything you do Dr. Ramani! <3

A K

6 days ago

Mother and ex husband (father of child) I’m a shell. I can’t believe how accurate this vid is. I hate being victim but narcissistic husband destroyed anything I had left after years of my mother.

Steven Sordoni

1 week ago

I'm still struggling more than I cared to admit. I went back to school recently for holistic nutrition. I lost 130 lbs and developed a whole new lifestyle that was important to me and that I could have a part in inspiring changes in social attitudes towards health, factory farming, the environment, etc. etc. I had to drop out and put it on hold because I had so much depression and would blank on all my major tests and exams, even though I put in the time and effort and should have done really well. I've decided to break communication with family for now because it's so bad for my mental health. The confusing part of it isn't just my father who is the obvious abuse in my life, but the rest of my family, especially my mom, who has enabled him for years and sees me as a pathology. I know she doesn't see the potential I see in myself and that hurts too. That it's generational. It's not fair. The rumination is the absolute worst. If there is one thing I can make count in my life it's to break the cycle of abuse in my family and to give people the love and motivation I never got.

Chardee

4 days ago

I believe the girl I was dating for the past 11 months is a narcissist. She would belittle me by saying I need to be a more productive person and, even though I work 40 hours a week and go to college full time. She also invalidated my feelings by saying, "She can't tolerate a man who misunderstands things and hurts himself in the process, because there is really no point." This was after I told her that she puts an enormous amount of pressure on me when saying things like, "It's not like you're a productive person anyways." This was after I told her I'm sad summer won't be as fun since we can't go on trips because of the pandemic. I've come to the conclusion that she is a person that feels she needs to be in control at all times and that I can't put up with someone who lives like that because I am the complete opposite and the stress was becoming too much.

Aishwarya Rao

6 days ago (edited)

This video made me cry when I watched it for the 1st time came here to comment...m Going to get a graduation this year after many struggles till now in life like finally god is kind to me atleast I got to know this word. N my narc Mom used to give my business plans my dreams which is related to beauty to the parlor owners when I used to confront her she used to shrug it off n all I have faced more other things .. never appreciated any of my achievements. Just ruined my name out of idk jealousy maybe. I can write a big para on this. Just thank you Dr for your knowledge n these videos.

Han Ihan

3 days ago

This is true.. i feel this.. stopping me from doing my passion

lisa purnell

2 days ago (edited)

Wow.. I guess I have super powers!😀. I was determined to rise above and break that horrible grip of the narc off of me and be me again, and to grab a hold of my dreams and beliefs. I fought hard to reclaim my ground and find my healing. My tears watered the ground that now grow flowers around me. I fly my victory flag and walk in confidence for me, my children and grandchildren. I am an overcomer.. Narcissist are used by the devil to kill, steal and destroy.

Ch Huntley

3 days ago

DR Ramani, I've seen some dark days .You're advice and insights are greatly appreciated .

Steve

2 days ago (edited)

I normally don't share my deepest feelings, instead, I write. I wanted to share this because I feel that it will be familiar to others who have been utterly devastated by this cruel and merciless breed of human being. I was denied eating food that she bought from my paycheck, she would hide it. I washed my clothes only to find them lying on the floor wet because she needed the washer for her clothes. She saw my Army medals from deployment to Kuwait and I was criticized for not being a Marine because they have better looking uniforms. Those are the "nice" things she did. She told me that she couldn't have kids... I now have a 7 year old son (who I love dearly) who she took when he was six months old and moved over an hour away. I now get to pay child support until I'm 62. I lost my house that I had for 12 years before I married her, I now live in a tiny RV alone. I'm only now coming out of it. This started in 2012...8 long years. It is real, it is duhumanizing, it destroys. The poem below barely touches the depths of my pain...

Like I was Never Here

A second, a minute, an hour and a day.

The month and year matters not in any way.

The season, the clouds, the sun and the moon. The past and the future, sunshine and gloom.

Happiness, indifference and sadness all the same. There is nothing to feel, no joy and no gain.

No difference is made in a day or a year. Breath or no breath; no courage no fear.

To live or to die, to be here or not. A shadow to cast, then again maybe not.

The comfort of darkness and the warmth of the cold. A drained broken heart not worthy to be sold.

Terrible to mourn the loss of one who still lives. Too much has been taken, there's no more to give.

Distance, separation and deliberate distain. The cruelty of happiness and the loss of what's sane.

A spirit that is broken and an identity lost. The pieces are scattered, too high the cost.

Where I have walked, each footprint an end. The shadow I've cast blown away by the wind.

No feelings, no hope, no pain and no fear. No laughter nor crying-like I was never here.

Please respect my rights as the author. Thank you.

S. M.

8/31 /17

Caroline Garland

3 days ago

I'm raising my grandson because his father wasn't stepping up to the plate in his responsibilities. This wasn't''t my plan for this stage in my life. Having to raise my grandson is economic abuse. The situation is complicated because I can't just move away. There is a house that's in the middle of a renovation and there are other factors too. My other son moved an hour away from our town to distance himself from the situation. Little by little, I complete the house projects. Maybe when the cild graduates from high school, I'll sell/rent the house and move back to the city of my birth.

Ira Murphey

1 week ago

Hi,. I grew up with a narcissistic Mother growing up which turned into relationships I had later in my life. I had to give up my self awareness, my romantic relationships and early dating life. I could not have friends of my choosing and I didn't really spread my wings until I was away. My reputation was bad without my knowledge for years. I didn't know how to end this cycle. I got into a relationship with a man that is the same but I see through his nonsense. I gave up my education in the field I want to study and writing. Which I started doing after a long time of absence from it. I am good at everything I do and my dreams are endless. I can entertain, I love science and beauty, and aviation. I'm 35, but I realise I can only do one thing at a time. I wish I knew where to start.

Sage

1 week ago

I mostly obeyed a narc for 38 years, and then decided I was going to live the life I wanted. I got that. True, my my earning potential was truncated and my educational opportunities were misdirectrd. I'm living with the leftovers of my life that the narc didn't consume. But, that's what I have to work with, and I'm doing a good job with what I have.

Dr Ramani I lost my singing career, being a novelist, my college education. And because of you I was able to set in motion my freedom. It was your video on the 4 Types of Narcaissts that showed me I had been in a relationship with a covert narcissist for 15 years. I realized after that video I had to get free. Less then a month later I filed for divorce. It’s been a hard road but I’ve been free for 13 months now. I’m currently working on my dreams, all of them. They haven’t actualized yet but I’m slowly getting there and what a beautiful thing after a lifetime of narcissistic abuse. So to you Dr. Ramani, thank you. 💖

Suzanne Coholic

1 week ago

My parents constantly undermined my choices and desires to be a musician. I was manipulated, gaslighted, shamed about it at every opportunity. In a weird sense, when they could say how great they were to extended family or their friends, they boasted about my abilities and endeavors, only to turn on me in private and leave my will broken. I'm now in my 60s, and due to the coronavirus (and I've never married or had children), I found myself with time on my hands from my career as a high school science teacher. I went to my storage bin and brought home a guitar. There are times I feel like I'm on cloud 9 while relearning how to play and I'm so full of joy! And then I feel a host of negative emotions that shut me down for days at a time. Emotions I struggle to name. This episode caused me to promise to myself that I will give myself time each day (permission?) to feel joy again while playing guitar and enjoying music. Thank you so much!

EmGee Elle

1 week ago (edited)

Losy my own stability due to a narc, he used my dreams and aspirations to future-fake me. And despite his words of encouragement, I could see through his lies and noticed he rarely or never makes time to discuss his so-called future with me in detail,. Then I found out he was a cheating bastard and a chronic liar, he never even showed remorse. So good to know the truth coz it sets you so free. I let him go and work on ME.

Kathleen Dery

1 week ago

I gave up my fun times. My X was jealous of me having a good job that supported both of us. My second one has given me social anxiety and struggles in my home every day invalidating me so that I am too depressed to get away from him

Lucia Lehrer

1 week ago

With a broken soul and a heavy heart, I’m writing this today.

All the A to Z reasons, why I have to stay away

It’s not that I don’t love you, It’s not that I don’t care.

Your constant putdowns and displeasure of me, are more than I can bare

Everything I have ever done, was never good enough

You bullied and beat me senseless, and always acted tough.

Every day I would wake up, in fear of abuse and neglect

You did things to me Mom, that I can not forget.

Your vulgar mouth, your consonant threats, your hands accosting me.

That need for attention and love, from every one else you see

The praises you only give yourself, the perfection you believe to be

All my faults you always correct, every time you look at me.

Those fancy shoes, designer clothes, you flaunted in my face

Showing me pictures of foreign trips, you forced me to embrace

The parties you would go to, leaving me locked up alone

Without a babysitter, to play and help me feel safe at home

I know you’re suffering, and in need of attention.

But were were you, when I needed protection?

My childhood years were a nightmare I can’t forget

Yet you have no remorse no compassion and no regret

Your tears no longer impress nor move me, I feel no sympathy

I need to turn my back on you, and just take care of me

There is no one in my life, to take my pain and doubt away

And under your controlling clutches, no longer I can stay

You justified that behavior on your hardships as a child

This wasn’t my cross to bare, I grew up defensive and wild

You married a man you always considered as a bother

A mean and cruel man who constantly reminds me “I’m your father”!

A monster in every sense of the word, someone that I grew up to hate

My role model for a husband, a loveless marriage, and every loser’s bate

Teaching me how a man should treat me, was not your main concern

By threats, beatings and punishment, was my only way to learn

The fear I endured at the hands of this man, were instigated by you

Inventing stories without research, you made him believe were true

I cried myself to sleep, angry and frustrated, wishing I was dead

Bruised and battered with open bleeding soars, staining my bed

As I struggled to be happy, as a mother and a wife

All you did was judged and mocked me, for ruining my life

I married a man I did not love, to get away from the abuse

With no guidance and no advice, on to how to share my views

Every time I opened my mouth, to say what’s in my heart

Your lack of caring and compassion, drew us more apart

I have to say this time around, that I have no regret

And everything you ever done, I’m trying to forget

I fell no love, I feel no hate, I have no feelings left for you

I just want you to admit, that all I said is true.

I never hear a word of praise, something to elevate my soul

Encourage me to be myself to learn to take control

I learned to hit, I learned to yell I learned to grab a man

And I also learned to do what ever it takes, to learn to live again

Tommy Mak

1 week ago

This happened to me - I was going to school full time and working 2 jobs while I was taking care of him lol a child shuttling him around and doing his hw for him - I got burned out and failed some semesters in school - I’m capable but I did not have the time or energy bc he took it all - 4 years wasted - my 18,19,20&21 I will nvr get such crucial years back he ruined my life.

Hargovind Singh

1 week ago

how to live without my narc parents who threaten to not give home when they die, they have used up all my savings, and destroyed all my relationships and career

Samyuktha Kilaru

4 days ago

Or they keep you busy with household activities /undertakings in the name of personal life that will organically make you leave your dreams behind.

They want a share in your earnings even before you get it. They want to have babies to make sure you are grounded (if you have a travelling job etc). Some of the many things they can possible do..

Good Willtriumph

1 week ago

I’m always impressed with how succinctly you cull out these aspects of narcissistic abuse. My older brother was the narcissist in my life and it took decades for me to gain realistic self esteem. I am a mental health professional and I agree, my experience has helped me to identify, explain, and assist with recovery when clients are impacted my narcissistic abuse. My brother died alone, having abused and pushed out every single decent person in his life. I’m in my 60s and have an amazing family, a wonderful home, and a successful practice. I have recovered from narcissistic abuse and feel very joyful in my life. I say to my clients, a narcissist gives you a distorted image of yourself, like looking into a fun house mirror. Then I say, do not let a narcissist, or anyone else, define you. There are usually many of this conversations! But it is sooooo satisfying to see people break free, define themselves, and take their lives back. Thanks again for another powerful talk!!

Cindy Rogers

1 week ago

I gave up friends, family, career, my master’s degree, and literally my life. He left in October 2018 to be with his new supply-I spent these many months healing, growing and stretching myself and now I am happy, free, more adventurous and feel safer than ever. No one, and I mean NO one will ever take my life from me again. I am beginning a new career ( at 61🤗), I am loving myself for the first time in my life and I feel soooo good!🤗❣️

Eileen Machida

6 days ago

To make a long story short - after spending $150K in chiropractic college, I was told that I was a quack. Hurt me so bad, I never got my license nor opened a practice. After years of doing something I didn't like, I discovered that NOT only am I energetically sensitive, I am also a medical intuitive (seeing what's going on in someone's body without opening them up or running lab tests) using just my hands and 3rd eye! I practiced my profession on my pet dogs (legal in my state) and discovered that I can FEEL their energy emanating from their spines (and giving me valuable insight on any pathologies) saved tons on vet bills. I gave up after 20 years of this type of talk.

Then I started day trading and heard all this gambling BS. I finally got fed up and told myself, I'm setting boundaries, I won't listen to you nor talk to you about ANYTHING that is meaningful. Once I did that, my entries got a lot better. Next milestone a few hundred dollars more in a practice (test) account to qualify for a live account with someone else's money. That is my story in 10 sentences or less.

Monika Hyvnarova

3 days ago

Dear Dr. Ramani, and one more thing...you along with a few other professionals have been the huge saving grace the Lord has sent me. Thank you, for opening my eyes and leading me out of the fog and confusion. Thank you for the education, validation, empathy and encouragement. I could not have done it without you.

Meg Deeprose

1 week ago

this brought tears to my eyes. thank you so much dr. ramani, we love you!

Tami Minor

5 days ago

There's no simple place to start. 8 years with this broken manchild. I left a year ago and It took months before I felt a bit liberated. I'm moving forward with my dreams. He is still using manipulation and threatening me! There was always an excuse and an argument when I wanted to better myself although he used me constantly to promote his own agenda. I moved clear across the states to get away. He is still threatening but I can't live like that. I work at feeling the fear and doing it anyway!

Thank you so much for your validating words! You remind me that what happened was real and that it isn't supposed to be that way!

You’re such a voice of reason. It’s the way you say it all - with such confidence in what you’re saying, it helps SO MUCH in putting the self-doubts to bed, and believing your own reality.

DoctorRamani

melissa dale

6 days ago

Thank you for all you do. It seems You know my situation. I’m reclaiming my life.

Maureen Cunningham

1 week ago

nawdam

Hi Dr Ramani : Thank you so much..... -you have validated me. My education is piecemeal. I have suffered from being part of an abusive family. And went on to marry an abusive partner who psychologically abused etc me for decades. So much so that I have been unable to focus and concentrate on my studies and feel so incompetent and lack self esteem. Please do Youtube on this subject. You have saved my life and I know I can do better. A million thanks ..............

Jill Kunishige

1 week ago

This info is very helpful in understand more my journey and where I'm at now. I am in the process of leaving my blood family who use me as a scapegoat. I have a huge tendency to be an enabler, which I'm recognizing and changing for myself. I also realize I was in victim mode which has also shifted to being empowered. These narcissistic people in my life have been good teachers for me to stand strong in what I believe to be my path. I'm finding myself to be coming together with folks who support me and help me grow in ways that benefit me in an empowering way. I see clearly how I'm treated by the narcissist is a mirror in how they feel about themselves. And how I see folks with love and compassion without enabling is where I mirror. Work in process. It's a journey...

T S

1 week ago

I can’t believe this video came right on my birthday! Thank you for the great gift ! It was by far my worst birthday I couldn’t sleep the whole night reflecting what i have done to my life all this years ! I met him 14 years ago as a recently college grad. I had dreams aspirations, I feel ashamed I left all behind I feel like it’s getting harder and harder to achieve anything. I used to blame myself until I started understanding what’s going on here. Thanks to you, now things are more clear. I hope I have the strength to break the cycle.

E V

1 week ago

This is so true. I remember him laughing at my dreams and then trying them himself. He laughed at me trying to finish school & every time I got closer to starting my business, he started acting crazy like cheating, creating chaos over small things. And he even mocked my belief in God. I have now graduated with my BS in Finance with a 4.0 GPA. Every time I talked about getting my Master’s, all hell broke loose again. I’m just glad I’m out. It’s been 2 and 1/2 yrs, countless Hoovers but each time I get smarter.I will never let anyone else destroy my soul like that. I was so beautiful and all this stress has taken a toll on my health, my appearance, my finances just everything. I’m forever grateful that I found out what Narcissistic Personality Disorder is because he is a textbook Narcissist. He even tried to take my business ideas & mimics my personality & dreams to find friends. It’s really sick. I just want my entire life back. I’m working on it though.

M E

5 days ago

This was one of the most moving videos that I have ever listened to about narcissism. The sadness, the anger, and the expertise came out so loudly in your voice. It is such a shame how much time is lost when one is involved with a narcissist. Thank you Dr. Ramani for all you do to educate on this subject.

Melody Weaver

1 week ago

This is exactly what happened to me . Everyone I know tried to tell me it was happening. When I first met the narc I had just signed my first record deal. I was doing great ...he was also a artist who was skilled in just about everything I'm skilled in. He would intentionally not show up to events I had like listening parties and shows and my label mates and friends would be upset. Even I was upset at first but he would.explain how he couldn't make it bcuz of transportation issues. Long story short, we end up having our first child together and after a few months I return back to my music and career. I had a friend in the business who showed me how to get paid gigs on tv and somehow the narc found a way to get upset by this. I started to notice Everytime I did anything to progress my.career he wouldget extremely upset with me and say it was bcuz I shouldn't be working with other ppl and that they only wanted to try to have sex. But that never was the case.after getting pregnant with our second child I moved back to my home town and have been flourishing ever since.

J Spin OH MY

2 days ago

You saying I had superpowers made me cry. Thank you so much. I'm still here. But I am growing. And I am leaving. It will take time... But I am GONE. Mark my words.

Intentional Idea

19 hours ago

So true and I attract many bullies including my father.

I hear the negative voices from my past almost every day in my head, but I am still aspiring. Fuck it! I will succeed. Aaah, this video is making me emotional :) Remember guys, we ARE STRONG!

Jachimma

1 week ago (edited)

Identified what was going on. It's sad that I lost time, but making the most of the time I've got now to realise the dreams I have....

They think that having two children will hold me back... They have no idea.... 🌍

Benjamin Pollard

6 days ago

I have watched this video multiple times and still keep balling my eyes out every time. Thank you Dr. Ramani for your powerful medicine.

Dolly bow Barden

1 week ago

I had dreams, I had bags of personality, I had brains, I loved my hobbies, I had ideas things i wanted to do, that all got taken away even family, slowly i got isolated, no one around me, he saw me as worthless, I'd never amount to anything, told me I had no hobbies, lived a life with his family never included me, I was sat at home after being brain washed, trying to work out what just happened on my own for days, no friends no nothing, ...now tables have turned i got read of him, i am worth it, i can see the light and see my dreams again, slowly rebuilding my life, and amount to something, it's a slow process especially having to remake a new life and build up friendships. Feeling so much better.

Aleah Mohamed

5 days ago

Lost my dream of thinking life would get better with my mother when ever something good happens or I’m on the right track with school or with work she will go out her way to make feel upset I’m 25 years old and I have spent I’ve spent 10 years trying to make them feel better and help them with their relationship. I think I was heavily gaslighted to the point where I stoped believing an just started existing. I got my dream an got into university and my mom made me feel like I didn’t need to be successful I just need to survive like how my mother did and she would go out of her way to be verbally abusive to the point where she just did what ever she could to make me bad about myself. it got to the point where I just stoped I felt like an open target on anyone who was manipulative, and yea I ended finding people who mimicked my mothers tendencies.

Your vedios are such a big help to me it makes me feel like I’m not alone that there’s someone who sees that people like that.

Nina Daruwalla - Realtor - Bay Area/Silicon Valley - Cupertino

1 week ago

This made me cry so much!! I don't even have words to tell you! I've gone thru every single thing you said here, and more... feel numb and lost, trying to make sense of my life right now!

Gina Miller

1 week ago

I had to give up my chikdren my life my future my home my security my grandchildren my being

Sally Eckhoff

1 week ago (edited)

This is so powerful and beautiful.

I saved myself by going back to school. I was 50.

My friends became my armor. We are all artists and we support one another without question or criticism.

I'm lucky it hasn't gotten too late for me. So much work to do, so much life to live.

If you can't get away from your N at home, GO BACK TO SCHOOL!

M. S.

1 week ago

I had to give up my reputation, I think. I've gone through narcissistic abuse before, but more recently I experienced a subtler, milder version with a friend group. I thought they were my best friends, but it became clear to me I was being treated differently by everyone else. I snapped and had a meltdown on my private instagram account where they saw I brought up things that made me upset. I realized soon I was being bullied. the leader and everyone in the group got mad at me. eventually I reached out to someone I thought would be open to hearing from my side. I told her my piece, but she insisted I bullied her with my meltdown, insisted I should have texted them privately (when they previously made fun of people for doing that and that's why I didn't), and just overall proved to me they weren't going to listen. They gaslit me and pushed my boundaries and insisted they "cared and loved" me but actions speak louder than words. I'd gone through this before so my psyche picks up on it quicker and rages sooner, I think, but I need to remind myself people like this exist and they attracted to me, and I need to just walk away sooner. I'd rather lose people than lose myself.

Sunita Shinde

1 week ago

my mom's favorite retort when i tried something new, "you don't want that." i moved to a larger city, "you don't want to move there - too much traffic and too crowded." never mind i'm happier and more successful than i've ever been.

Mia K

1 week ago

I am almost 3 years into recovery from this & I still feel stunted because of the incorrect programming. I am longing for the day when I learn what I need to know to permanently change my course. I long for that freedom when I feel like my wings are no longer tied.

Transcendence

5 days ago

Our whole world was created by Narcissists! From the school systems to the work place! The narcissists run the show!

Simple Texas

2 days ago

Thank you! You know I avoided this topic but apparently have told a close friend several times I thought my h might be a narcissist. I've never been so demeaned of dreams. In a fit of rage, he broke my ring light (I hoped to teach women about personal finance) and said something about how it was stupid that I wasted money on the equipment. I'm an attorney, I make money but any dream that didn't involve making money he mocked and scorned and told me to focus on what I'm good at.

James G

1 week ago

I was gaslighted for 17 years. I am still in recovery after 9 months of separation from her. I miss her the trauma bonding. Gave up lots for her $$ and vacations . My second occupation for fun and profit...more later..

Blus Mom

1 week ago (edited)

I eventually recognized a pattern whenever I tried to spread my wings in my narc relationship. I've been told I have writing talent. I gave a story to my partner to read. She corrected it like a grade school teacher and handed it back to me with her suggestions and a condescending "keep trying". Every time I showed an interest in a new hobby, she threw up a roadblock. There was always one of her hurdles to go over. Or she wanted to join in and run things "the right way". You are right, Dr. Ramani. It was a real mind F***. Everything you describe in your videos, I have experienced. The gaslighting and attempt to make me believe I was unbalanced was the worst. June 4, 2019 was my Independence Day at the ripe old age of 63. My grandmother used to say, "Life takes pluck!". My little blue haired grandma was right. I have a shiny new life.

vers bottom

5 days ago (edited)

When I quit my job bcz of bullying and anxiety Id feel at work, my dad my narc dad made fun of me saying that I couldn't do it. That I couldn't make a living. That I was dreaming things thos things that I couldn't afford. The smirk n that giggles and sarcastic laugh still haunts me to this day. He never wanted me to become a chef. He wanted me to do what he does. Even made me beg for tuition while I was young. Cant wait to get back to doing what I always wanted to do.

PurpleHazeRunner X

1 week ago

I had a university teacher/mentor that gaslighted me and because of the abuse I got sick. My mentor then, after avoiding me for a month and not giving me classes, said that I will never succeed in persuading my career as a classical pianist. I've collected all my courage and after I bawled my eyes crying, i met her and said goodbye. I transfered to another mentor who could not even hear me play because I was very bad and just started the months long therapy. This man took me under his own, talked with me, reassured me that i am capable of doing great things.

I just endes my second year at uni, and he was the one that helped me to be me.

There are awful people on this earth, but there are also the great ones.

My hands are getting better and we managed to do a tremendous amount of work excellently and forever I am thankful for the bad experience, because I would never apreciated what I have now.

God bless you all.

Jan Willem van den Ham

3 days ago

Dear Dr. Ramani, having a narcissist mother, sister and on top of it, a narcissistic boss, you have brought me so much enlightenment with all your videos. I know have a complete understanding on the disorder. This episode summarizes what you can never accept, or must do to avoid psychological harm or do to recover from it. Thank you so much! One question, could you do an episode on how narcissist behave towards other narcissist?

Barbara Kraemer

1 week ago

Thank you so much for this. I left 3 years ago. After 7 years of being told I was stupid, no good, had no common sense, no talent, no friends, no work, just hobbies... I studied painting, art and literature. I made the choice to be a stay-at-home mom for the first 5 years of my kids' lives and work as a p/t illustrator. Any show I had, he didn't go, any article published about me, was worth nothing...he said again and again that if I was a real artist, i d be making more money with it and not sit at home looking after the kids...since I left, 3 years ago, I have become known locally for my illustrations, have been invited to showcase my work at local art galleries and design posters for the city...This wk, i was chosen as to have my illustrations painted on 4 streets in my neighborhood that will be turned into play streets... I feel gratefull for all the love and encouragement and positive feedback I am getting. But I am also struggling with still hearing his diminishing words echoing inside me. It's hard to be unable to completely escape him, seeing how we have kids together. I have come to see all this as my teacher, showing me areas inside myself that need cultivating... thanks to Dr. Ramani I finally understand narcissism more though. ✌🏼😎

R G

1 week ago (edited)

The best offence & defence against one of these creatures is indifference, or at least the disciplined appearance of it. They'll deflate like a popped balloon if you don't care. Smear campaign? What are we 15 years old in high-school, not responding to it. Can't control what others think of us or what the narcissist says of us but we can control ourselves which in turn proves whatever the narcissist says is wrong anyway. Zen mode activated.

I cant even put into words she basically destroyed 25 years of sacrifices and work for no good reasoning . Complete Lack Of Empathy

Cassey E

1 week ago (edited)

This popped up in my notifications 4 days ago and again today i was trying to avoid watching this this made me cry

Alex G.

3 days ago

Narcissistic abuse makes me angry, too. It is cruel and insidious and can lead to hopelessness and despair, all because of toxic rivalry and aggressive scapegoating. I have such a hard time wtih mean people, last thing we need now. These abusers take no self-responsibility and simply cast blame on whomever is the most vulnerable. When the entire family or community of any kind supports this by enabling the lies and protecting the abuser to keep the illusion alive, it is terrifying because life becomes perpetually unsafe and there is simply no permission to be human! Higher-self work is what saved me, along with learning about energy, and how this is exchanged among people. Lots of hardy soul growth in this process, most enlightening. Thank you for this heartfelt video, it really moved me to hear your passionate commitment to help people heal from this. That will uplift humanity to new freedom, we need this healing now!

Sandi Griffin

1 week ago

You've helped me so much.. I have lived with my mother for 4yrs.i have a 12 yr old son also.. it's been the worst 4 yrs of my life.. she's never said one kind word to either of us.Sucked me financially (disability, single mom). never taken my son anywhere. Doesn't even talk to him.. she's turned my sister's against me.. I could go on forever.. my son's father just passed away. My income has dbled TG!!.. NOW I'm making plans to move out and NEVER see or speak to her again..I'm sure I will have ptsd.. and I'm def shoving my happiness and hopes for the future in her face 🤣.. and still she just talks about the friggin mulch.. has no intentions on acknowledging my hopes and dreams...

Nerida Bruyn

1 week ago

This made me cry, so close to my experience. I’m out one year yesterday from 7 years. The destruction to my soul & aspirations has been horrific. I’ve lost my finance managing career and unable to work now. I have some business ideas to help women like me but I just can’t get started. I feel paralysed with self doubt. The ex Narc use to say I’ll be nothing, that I would scam people and that I’m untrustworthy. I know deep down I’m not but his voice & words shower over me whenever I think of stepping in to help others. So sad. Thank You Dr for you insights and your love. I felt your anger and despair for the abused survivors. Sending love back to you and everyone here ❤️🤗❤️

Carolyn Tui

4 days ago

It's been 12 years since I left my abuser but unfortunately I'm like I'm still in a box. I have no desire to really want to do anything. I went through all the abuses from my ex. I'm a survivor but I'm not really living.

Christina Maina

1 week ago

What you are saying is true, I had my mum a narcissist and in my life I had been approaching them but thank God I learned the lesson through hard way.

Proud American Man

1 week ago

It’s taken me two years to make significant progress from leaving my narcissistic ex and identifying and breaking the trauma bond. I’ve gone through CBT therapy, Self Hypnosis, Neuro Feedback training, I’m a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu practioner, I’ve become a Pranic Healer, I went to Quantum Touch energy healing, work with world class energy healers and got a new apartment. I’ve also gone deep into Spirituality ... specifically Oneness and non duality. And lastly I’ve become a big fan of spiritual medicine including Ayahuasca, mushrooms, San Pedro and 5 MeO DMT. I’ve also journeyed on MDMA three times with a facilitator to become more heart centered. MDMA is used by the VA to help Vets overcome PTSD. In short, I do it all. The medicines help my meditations and energy work and vice versa. I can now watch a video like this and understand the psychological and spiritual damage that was done to me, how I manifested it for my own spiritual growth and how to release, heal and expand so I can move forward with Love and Light on my Life Mission and Purpose. I may be an extreme case, but I was going to get this part of my life handled no matter what. Thank you Dr Ramani for this channel and your work.

lisanicu2000

1 week ago

Wow. You really got me when you talked about victims of Narcissists, specifically for me, a daughter of a malignant narcissist mother and an alcoholic father.

I completely feel so angry about the amount of time I’ve spent angsting over my cruel mother, and it continues only because I allow it. She is 90 and with the coronavirus pandemic, I feel I should at least call her once in a while to check in. But I notice how my mood has changed, I’m more quiet and reflective since I have had much more contact with her lately. I have headaches, and my Fibromyalgia is flaring. I need her out of my life. To save myself. Thank you for your caring for us. We didn’t get much of that as children.

2126Eliza

1 week ago

I was 33 when I got divorced, I thought my life was over. Counseling and getting away from my ex saved my life. I went back to school, have a great job and great friends. I followed that gut feeling and never looked back. Don't look back!

Michele Pascoe

10 hours ago

Thank you Dr Ramani, for helping me recover. You and Dr Les Carter have been a wonderful encouragement and educated me about narcissism and helped me know what to do. My covert narcissistic mother died end 2018 and I was just beginning to understand what was going on. Now, mid 2020, I have a new life! I let go of her flying monkeys who enjoyed punishing me for her and am peaceful without all that contempt in my life. I was despised for being a home educating mother ("not having a proper job" and "never accomplishing anything") and am now training to be an early childhood educator so I can go on working with children which is what I love and have decades of experience in! My husband and three younger daughters who are loving and loyal are a comfort and joy, and I'm no longer striving to please my two married daughters or my father who were turned against us and believed the slander. We know we did our best for them and wish them well, but we are having a happier life now even grieving the losses and damage. I'm not enabling more abuse now anyway. My love to every scapegoat - you are enough!

Edgy Dollface

6 days ago

Dr.Ramani,

I dealed with a person who tried to destroy my self esteem for life. But ten years later I see that I am here for a bigger purpose. While I am still discovering, I am better than before. It took life threatening depression and PTSD to understand a higher purpose. I'm 30 but feel 60 with the emotional and mental stress from family and relationships. Thank you through this pandemic.

SpringoStar

1 week ago

I'm so lonely,...

Tried so hard.....

I have such a wicked "barck"issist man...

No matter the psychology, I lose...

help.... Please....

Deanne Miller

4 days ago

Thank you for this video. Can you do another one on clarifying your dreams or goals? I have several things I’m passionate about and cannot figure out which one to pursue. It sounds silly to me writing it down. Just tons of self-doubt.

I am also stuck caring for my elderly narcissistic mother. Cannot find any helpful information for my situation. Do you have anything to offer? Please? She’s not living with me, but I have to call her every day to make sure she is taking her medications and see her once a week to do her laundry and fill her medication box. The subtleties of her manipulation never cease to amaze me.

Janice Pilkington

1 week ago

Im 70 years old and still struggle, I moved 3000 miles away from my family because my mother and gay brother were destroying me, that was 39 years ago, my mother brother and sister, myself included were all narcissitic I have lived in a state of survival, in and out of therapy and taking medication for over 25 years, I;m drug and therapy free, I've been suicidal many times but just don't have the balls to do it, been diagnosed with ptsd, both my brother and husband committed suicide, I really don't know how I'm still standing, I truly believe God has a plan for my life that I have yet to complete, I;m a very compassionate and kind person and I have a heart for homeless and street people, but, I'm very lonely, no family or friends to speak of, I've had to cut them out of my life, still moving forward one strp at a time

Julie Meyer

5 days ago

Dr Ramani! This video filled me with tears of validation & relief. I’m so grateful for your insights & clarifications.

Susan Piralli

1 week ago (edited)

I can literally write a book on the subject!

Where to begin?

I spent 27 years of my life with him, and I am still trying to get the SOB completely out of my life. We have 2 beautiful boys together, which makes it hard.

Thanks for all the advice and validation I’m receiving from your channel.

After 18yrs and an in the middle of an almost nervous breakdown, one of my family called the police who removed my partner from my home. 7yrs into the relationship i tried to end it, he spent 1yr wearing me down and re-entered my life. I was studying architecture when i met him, that is gone, i was a confident woman, that is gone, i thought he was poisoning me when i got sick, i thought i was going crazy. 2yrs post removal with 2yrs of therapy i can see so clearly, now i try to not beat myself up for everything he stole from me. He is still in the process of taking my home i brought and paid for, i have unpaid loans he will never repay. But i am so blessed to have him out of my life. All the material things and money he wants from me can't buy the peace im working towards. The only problem I'm left with is i see narcissism in every man i meet. I overthink too much terrified of getting sucked in again. But its preferable to living with one.

Analie C Fernandez

1 week ago

After 6 years, I finally able to left a Narcissistic relationship, I was still in pain for 4 years and finally started the real healing on the 5th year. But the moment, I marked the one anniversary of self healing---I fell in love again. I was over the moon! But after 3 days, I noticed he too, owns planetary telescope, another more week, I noticed more same behaviors! I was mortified! I left after 3 weeks in a new relationship even I was so in love with him like a universe! It's almost 2 mos. passed I am still in pain but not much emotionally, more of mentally__because, I can't fathom why it has to happen to me again?😭 The last 2 months was painful but I managed to stayed on top of it--nobody even knows what I've through recently. I went through it all by myself

Natalia Arai

1 week ago

I had dreams of going to Physical Therapy school—he was so opposed to it. It was a non negotiable. It’s almost 2 months going NC and 3 days ago I registered for the fall semester to keep working on my pre requisites so I can apply to PT school. Thank you for giving me strength Dr Ramani!

Meredith Woods

1 day ago

This is exactly what I NEEDED! I’m 6 months and 1 week FREE. I have spent the last 14 years of my life dealing with HIM. For the first time in my life I finally have a voice and it’s surreal. I’m still in the process of divorce which it taking forever due to COVID-19, but I’m never lookin back! This video felt like you were speaking directly to me. Thank you so much for making this video!

Marta Gama

1 week ago

Lost my last years in college. Lost my friends. Lost my opportunity of going on Erasmus. Lost my first real job. Lost other job opportunities. Pretty much lost my 20s to 30s.

Diane Coles

1 week ago (edited)

I’m feel stuck in an empty marriage, I don’t know how to get out.

Dee Fraijo

1 week ago (edited)

I mean you hit the nail on the head! Honest to God...that's EXACTLY it! That's incredible. But I'm standing up after 10 years. I'm not taking it anymore. I don't believe him anymore I keep telling him that. I telll him I believe in myself. You have nailed it. I'm getting out. Thanks Dr. R. Meeting people like this can be devastating.

Bonita Stjulienlepauvre

1 week ago (edited)

Thank you for doing this video. The lowlights of my story: Narcisstic mother, two narcisstic husbands, many years of 'going back to school (18),' still struggling, starting over, and I'm old, but at least I'm not in either of those destructive marriages--and yes, mother and both husbands were threatened by my attempts/grades and my mother: a job I had. My rumination is now about my 'failures;' hopefully, it's progress that I don't believe the projective labels all 3 of them hurled at me.

Foxy Roxy

1 week ago

Thank you so much for this video!!!

My last relationship I ended up not going to school in Germany and study architecture like I wanted to. Now After I broke it off I am working towards my degree as an architect and plan on going back to Germany at some point to study there

Natalie Campbell

1 week ago

Spent 5 years 20-25 with a narcissist and alcoholic who tore down my self esteem. The sadness was quick to leave my mind and the relief took over immediately. I was lucky that family and friends were near me and remained supportive. Looking back, I have some regrets but I am much more proud of the fact that I was strong enough to get out of it before spending the rest of my life with them. The thought that kept playing my head was do I want to fear being in this relationship forever or fear never getting out of it alive. Happy to say that I am learning more about myself and reestablishing my identity. This quarantine has allowed me to not get too busy and not to avoid spending time with myself.

evelyn njeri

6 days ago

This video brought tears to my eyes. I have a narc older sibling that has been sabotaging everything I did. True freedom came for me when I said enough. I reclaimed my rhythm back, I don't hear their voice in my head anymore, I feel light. I am writing again, I am enjoy me and I can look myself in the mirror and love myself completely..I wake up and forget they exist and it's a wonderful feeling. I am beautiful

Elevated Awareness

1 week ago

My narc mom sabotaged my dreams repeatedly throughout my life in numerous ways. Several years ago, when Amazon's KDP self-publishing platform was still fairly new, I published a few books of fiction under a pen name without telling anyone. I just wanted to see how they would do on their own. I was incredibly happy when they got good reviews and increasing sales. So I went ahead and told my mom about it, assuming she would finally be happy with me given this self-made success. She expressed minimal interest and was largely dismissive, but shortly thereafter, my books started getting horrible, hostility-laden 1-star reviews. This was before Amazon began requiring accounts to have $50 in purchases prior to leaving any reviews. At this time, anyone with a fake account could leave a review on any product, whether they were a verified purchaser or not. She left a slew of reviews via many accounts and tanked my sales and ranking. I lost untold income from the potential sales of those books through the years, and am now aware that she's happy she blocked that potential success. She's happy I'm back to the 9-to-5 grind and my true dreams were destroyed. This is just one of countless ways she's sabotaged my dreams and relationships behind my back through the years. Calling and emailing my bosses and co-workers, telling them she's concerned about my mental state and lying to them about issues in my life; pitting my older half-siblings against me so our otherwise great relationships were cut off; secretly emailing anyone I date to get them on her side so she can have control through my partner; spilling bleach on my favorite shirt only hours after I made the comment that it was my favorite shirt; you name it, she's done it. And I'm one of those late-learners Dr. Ramani mentions in this video. I just turned 50. But over the past year, I've gotten the knowledge and info I've needed about narcissism on this channel and others on YouTube and am finally in a place where I can be free from her manipulations. I always assumed that everyone has good intentions, and that when people are mean or hurtful, it's simply because their efforts to manifest those good intentions have been thwarted, causing them to act out in frustration. The key for me was learning that not everyone actually has good intentions. The intentions of some people are, and always will be, to thwart and prevent your good intentions. When this finally sunk in, and I finally realized the pattern with my mom fit this pattern, that was it. Now that I finally knew the rules of this game, I now had control, not her. It was like seeing her hand in a game of cards. So I flipped the script, and I now "manage" (not control) her. I had been taking care of my mom's daily needs since my step-dad passed away in 2014, and the daily misery of having to deal with her was crushing. My sense of obligation enslaved me to her abuse. But when I got the knowledge about narcissism in late 2019, I created a scenario that required me to move out of state without her. I was focused, determined and unwavering ...and gray rock. Within a few months, my mom was moved to live with my older half-sister in another state. Shortly thereafter, my fictionalized scenario vanished and I still live in the state I lived in before she moved. Did I lie? Yes? Was I dishonest? Yes? This is her game, I'm just playing it. She will not abuse me ever again. She will not take the dreams I have for my few remaining years from me. I am finally truly happy, for the first time in my entire life. I can finally honestly say that I am capable of happiness on my own and through myself ... something she made me doubt so much through the years. I don't have a lot, but I can tell you this, the most valuable possession in the world is freedom. Freedom to have peace. Freedom to not be subject to the cruelty, meanness, abuse and sabotage of another. I appreciate that freedom so much more than I would if I hadn't been held under her thumb for most of my life. And I appreciate all it offers and opens up to me that I couldn't access before. These remaining years of mine will be the most beautiful and amazing I can possibly create. She's already taken so much from me, I won't allow her to take a single thing more. Thank you, Dr. Ramani, for providing this much-needed info to people like me. You are truly a life saver.

rllght

1 week ago

Thank you so much for the courage, wisdom and generosity, Dr. Ramani. I'm so lucky to have found your channel.

Natalie Infante

4 days ago

I didn't know what narcissistic abuse was when that was happening to me. I always thought what did I do wrong now? I cry at random times and when I enjoy with people, I find myself abruptly stopping when I laugh with them. I have insomnia because of the anxiety, nightmares that I wake up from even if I do get to sleep, and panic attacks before.

My older brother who is now 55, 17 years ago use to torment me and say "no one gives a fuck about your life, once our parents die, we will throw you on the street!" he said it in such a hateful tone and I couldn't retaliate because in the Philippines we are taught to respect our elders. When I told my dad he laughed and said do you believe that? I stayed quiet because he didn't get why I was hurt about that.

I never reached out to anyone because I thought my parents could help me until later they got fed up and thought I was lying. When I would talk to them they would make me explain myself over and over and when I would get mad with what they are doing, they will shout at me because I disrespected them. My brother would come in the room late at night start slamming the door continuously and shout at me with hateful words. I would tell my parents and he would do it again at night and say I am spoiled... I am a backstabber... I am being a princess and wants attention. I wrote everything he did down and how I felt since I couldn't find help and when I went home he got mad at me saying no one cares if you cry, no one cares about your feelings. Then he said something from my journal and when I caught up to what he did he said that my journal flew open. My journal that was in my shelf in between books. I became angry, lacked sleep and startes cutting myself.

I am 32 now and our mom jist died last May 29. I was so happy that I reconnected with my siblings but it didn't take long for bad things to happen again. This night, they had an intervention for me and I just kept quiet. They would repeat over and over my words and threw it at my face. I was even shouted at again when I explained my side. I was well prepared though. I had read about narcissistic abuse and how to cope when you can't go no contact because of the covid-19. I stayed neutral. Didn't argue and let them berate me. When they would ask questions I would answer in short sentences. I cried in my room after and did breathing while telling myself self compassion and positive affirmations. I then applied for a job. I could never keep a job though because of those ruminating thoughts and I would cry at work, distance myself from people because I didn't want to get hurt. My dad said if I was unhappy I can come home but that meant I went back to my abuser and stressor. I hope this time since I have the tools now to cope. I can keep my job and save up to be able to leave.

FJ Last

3 days ago (edited)

It's not just the years that I wasted, but the years that I AM wasting. I CAN'T leave. I've been married to my husband for 33 years. I only discovered that he was a narcissist 2 years ago. That doesn't mean that he hadn't been abusing me before that, but that I finally discovered that my abuser actually had a condition. I was utterly heartbroken; it destroyed my hope that he would change. It also destroyed my belief that he loved me in his own way. When I realised that if I left, after everything we'd built together, he wouldn't miss me, he wouldn't care, he'd just go and find someone else to give him his narcissistic supply, I felt truly broken. I love him, and I actually care about the fact that he's quite vulnerable. But he's also extraordinarily cruel to me and gaslights me endlessly to undermine me all the time. I have been completely financially dependent on him for some time now as well. If I walked away, I wouldn't just lose him, I'd lose my home and my life as I know it. I can't do that.

Aishmakeup

5 days ago

Thank you for this video 🙏 I gave up my innocence, my youth, my dreams and my self. Thank God now, I am stronger and I don’t need them and don’t value them anymore. I know that I matter and so do you ...

Jerry Perez

1 week ago

During this 2020 pandemic, I began (just like everyone else I assume) to self evaluate and go through my thoughts and mindset. I began to realize how much I was drained from other narcissists, one being my own family and also my own previous relationships.

Makeda Wearen

20 hours ago

I'm trying to be that survivor I pray every day that I make it out

Flame Haired Dude

1 week ago

Wow this has been one of my issues but I don’t always see the point in getting wound up about it especially now I’m 40 and 4 months nearly lol

C D

1 week ago

I gave up my job, money that could’ve been made, my happiness, my peace of mind, investment in a better future. Every ounce of happiness I had before meeting him was ripped away in the past two years. And now I’m just a depressed, bitter and angry person. I have to get out of this

Heather Shaw

1 week ago (edited)

My story: I married a narcissistic, abusive man at 21 and didn't see how my sense of self was being eroded. I often blamed myself for what wasn't working and was constantly trying to be the fixer. I stayed in that marriage and endured a lot of pain for 13 years. I began waking up when he discarded me, but it took a lot of years filled with pain and anger before I realized that shell of a person wasn't me. Then I endured 10 years with a boss who sang my praises at first, then eroded my confidence over time, completely devaluing me and coming out of left field at review time. My mental and physical health were seriously compromised. At some point, I connected my experience with the boss feeling like my first marriage. And I realized HR was not there for me, but to protect management. I finally moved to a new department with a supportive boss, but the experience repeated over again with a co-worker. Highly stressed, I retired earlier than planned. I am now 64. Only after being triggered less than 3 years ago by childhood trauma and abuse have I been able to really do the work. This year, I finally came to see my codependent relationship with my mother and others, and I have connected so many dots. I shared my experiences with my mother and her response clearly showed me I am really invisible to her. I have finally accepted that and have gone no contact. I have declared 2020 my year of clarity and self care. I am finding tools and friends that help me on my journey. My excess weight is releasing with ease. I have an abundant life. I still have moments of darkness and cognitive dissonance, though I snap back more quickly. Now I am an observer on my own journey and more able to allow others to walk their chosen path.

Terry Ellis

1 week ago

My parents did this thing where I just didn't have any dreams. I just didn't bother. Only thing I think I had for a goal was for someone to love me. Messed up part is that never happened. I barely love myself.... trying really hard but its hard for me to love myself because I always have this feeling of hatred instead. And there's literally no therapist that's been able to help me fix that.

The Soul's Compass

1 week ago

So incredibly moving! I will be listening to this regularly to keep myself in check! Thanks for the fantastic content! 💜

Simone McInnes

1 week ago

I'm in my penultimate year of a law degree thanks to my covert narcissistic personality disordered ex-husband, who is someone I have been forced to co-parent with. I am FURIOUS at the lost potential my son has suffered due to neglect of his health and education in his father's care, but I am astounded by my son's resilience, wisdom, and creativity. The amount of time and energy my ex-husband has put in over the last 14 years in attempts to limit my potential, ruin friendships, and punish me for making him accountable is astonishing. He didn't hesitate to borrow so much money against his home which he inherited freehold in order to screw me in family court that eventually he lost it. And apparently I'm the 'crazy' one! My stubborn determination to come out the other side of this in a position of strength with the respect of my peers has never waned. It must drive him crazy, and that makes me smile.

Don't get me wrong. I still mourn the lost time with my child, I do get lonely after having been undermined, slandered, and isolated, and I grieve for the person I was before C-PTSD. I'm not a full time tower of strength by any means. But I don't have to do recovery, or the steps toward a better life perfectly. I just have to do them. And I will. Because f**k him.

Ron sales

1 week ago

THANK YOU DOC!!!! IM SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU BLESSING FOLKS WITH THIS KIND OF VALIDATION !!! I LOVE YOU WITH ALL OF MY HEART... SHE TRIED TO BREAK ME AND I AM BENDY BUT I WILL NEVER BREAK . NO AMOUNT OF SHAME NOR GASLIGHTING NOR EVIL WILL MOVE ME OR SHAKE ME . MY TEARS AND MY SMILE AND THE LIGGT STILL IN MY EYES IS TESTAMENT TO THAT. I BOW TO YOUR FEET DOC. IVE BEEN THROUGH THIS...... SHE TRIED TO KILL HER NEW BOYFRIEND AFTER CATCHING HEP C FROM THE PREVIOUS ONE BEFORE THAT THEN HAS A BABY FOR THE O E SHE TEIED TO KILL NAMED THE BABY AFYER HIM BECAUSE JE DOD TESTIFY LOL AND THE SICK PART IS IM NO CONTACTING THAT LOVELY LADY FOR SAFTEY REASONS, AND HER SO IS BORN ON SMAE DAY AS MY DAUGHTER SO SHE WILL NEVER FORGET ME HAHAHA BUT I AM GOING TO BE FLUSHED WITH MILLIONS SOON. AND ITS ALL BECAUSE IM STILL HERE BABY. LOVE YOU!!!!! DOC, YOURE THE EFFING BEST! SRRY🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Attention Seekers

2 days ago

I needed to hear this ..I made a big step

Isabelle Parise

1 week ago (edited)

I am a survivor, my trick was to be resilient, staying away from enablers and if I could not I would stick to my own thoughts so they don't put me down. I would put my focus on my goals, dreams and positive thoughts. It is working and I have attracted good stuff because of all this. This would not happen overnight but with time and years if you put your energy in the proper goal it will work out. I would say this is like the virus we need to protect from it and putting our focus at the right place. Never feed the fear and working on that focus. I have also work on when you cannot go not contact show the narc you are not an extension of them. You are the master of you life and sometimes I need to show them god is bigger than them and they are not the master of my life. Remember you deserve to be happy and free.

Tara Baklund

1 week ago

This video will help so many. I wish I had had it years ago as I was trying to break from my parents. I am so fortunate to have an amazing family in my husband and in-laws who repeated their confidence in my self-worth and love for me. It still took years to release myself from the circular patterns Dr Ramani mentions in the video. If this video speaks to you, I encourage you to watch it over and over and over again. It is crazy how deep the brainwashing goes, especially when you were raised by such people. No matter how long it takes, it’s worth it! It took me about 15 years since I realized what was going on. Surround yourself with good people. What’s the difference? My life is about what I’m doing, what I’m creating and simply having the space to enjoy life,; no longer about problems with crazy-makers. May you see the light beyond the gaslight. And thank you Dr Ramani

Gina Miller

1 week ago

I wish I could really reach out really come out here really get your help I’m 54 a place I can’t recover from I lost everyone my family I live under there thumb I don’t have this is pain this is horrible I’m stuck I can’t leave I hate myself I can’t deal

lovemagicandroad

1 week ago

Oh yes. That is so so true! I’ll be happy to share my story, but about to fall asleep, will try to write a comment tomorrow when I’m awake.

Tammy springer

1 week ago

Thank you for this one

It was so nourishing to me to hear you say overcoming this is a super.power. I really needed that.

I used to be such an achiever, a straight A student, The fastest runner on the track team. I was nominated to be the sophomore. homecoming princess, I fought discrimination in the work place for pregnant women, and years later other women came to thank me, I've overcome a lot of very difficult things, people used to like me. I liked people. I used to be pretty and funny and athletic. I have a master's degree and was unanimously asked to give the speech at graduation. But I hardly ever remember accomplishments any more. Today, I am very overweight, in bad health, I make minimum wage and barely manage to pay bills. I don't even have a car and take 3 buses and a train to work. I used to be so solution- oriented. I used to be tougher but kind. I don't know how to get back to myself. I'm tired, middle-aged, and my bank account is overdrawn

I have no friends after all the smear campaigns. My secrets have all been told to strangers by my ex, my faults exploited to the max. Some days I go without food while my ex loves to point out what a loser I am. He filed for divorce right after my.mom died a tragic death. I only have me to handle everything and its hard to find the pre-narcabused person who knows how to.pull out of things

I keep going though, and I am.not able to hate him, although I think I should. He took 20 years of my life, the rest of my youth, beauty, and ambitions. But there is a part of me. Deep down, that believes I am just that person, who will build a better life for myself and that I have another small chance not to die this way but kick some ass instead ( not literally) and be free of him And,the effect on the kids is terrible. I want to show them how to overcome.

Crystal City

1 week ago (edited)

After I got away from someone with NPD after one child and seven years of narcissistic abuse, I went back to school and got my Master's Degree in Social Work from Ohio State (a top MSW program). Now I'm engaged to a wonderful, healthy person and looking forward to more children and a successful career in the mental health field. I hope I can help other people who have been abused. There is hope after NPD abuse!

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kareena k

1 week ago

Thank you, Dr. Ramani. While I'm still a work in progress, with your help along, with another NPD expert who has shared a lot of information online, I finally found the courage to leave after a significant amount of abuse. Though the transition has taken longer than I hoped, I now have a chance to reboot my life and try to follow my dreams. You are a literal life saver.

General Videos

1 week ago (edited)

My parents. That one time I was away from my parents I was the happiest, and it did feel 20 lbs lighter and life.

Pj 954

4 days ago

You described my life exactly I lived in a narcissistic abuse life for 32 years but my husband passed away in December , and talking about living in your head!!!!This video is exactly how a survivors feel we lost our dreams are hope and the one thing that used to bothered me the most is always second-guessing myself thinking I’m not good enough and that I can’t do it but now I’m learning how to pick up the pieces and MoveOn day by day and ask God to give me the strength not to feel guilty no more and that I am good enough ,I am 51 years old and And it’s never too late we do have superpowers 🦸‍♀️. I had so many dreams I always wanted to open up my own business Selling I’ll kinds of different tea ☕️ I even wanted to host tea parties in that you get dressed up and friends can get together and have tea it was always a dream of mine he always made fun of me . But maybe now My dream come true even if it’s something else I asked the Lord to help me find it thank you Dr. Ramani

teshairstudio20

1 week ago

I'm a hairstylist. I gave up my dream job in Orange County at a salon to live with him in San Diego. Then I started my own business and for 3 years I struggled with it because of his thumb on my forehead. Always wanting me home to do my wifey duties. I lost my dreams being with him. I honestly lived day to day with not looking into the future because I was always in survival mode. He moved out Feb this year and I've never been happier. My bank account has never had this much 💲in it since we were first dating. I'm so liberated and independent. He robbed me of ME! And you're right...it feels like I lost 300lbs since he's been out of my life.

This is powerful. My ex narc would abandon me when I would make attempts to stop drinking. He literally tried to sabotage my life by keeping me sick and addicted. He replaced me with a new “dummie” and blamed me for his cheating. I wasn’t a part of his “lifestyle” anymore. Good riddance!

DoctorRamani

Marcel Elfers

1 week ago

I watched your interview re BPD which taught me a lot and gave me some peace. Alas, the relationship ended and I still feel I failed in helping her.

Carol Ann

1 week ago

Lost it all, crushed my will to live, my ability to see anything positive in myself, every "good" thing about me was negated to the point where even I couldn't see it anymore, every blessing was criticized,. By the time I realized what was wrong, that it wasn't me that was "the problem" I was suicidal and couldn't see why anyone would want to have anything to do with someone as messed up and broken as me. I'm slowly coming back to life and soooooo grateful that I'm learning how to put back the pieces of myself. Looking forward to the day I can look in the mirror and see someone lovable and valuable. I have good days and bad but, so far, it's an upward trajectory. The knowledge I have gained will keep me safe in the future. By the grace of God, I'm still alive and by the grace of God, I will learn to thrive and make something good of the rest of my life. Thank you again Dr. Ramani. I'm so grateful for what you do.

Prash T

1 week ago

It happened to me ..being Fatherless I cleared medical entrance by hardworking by studying through an orphanage and eventually supported my sibling to get settled in her life...later I expected littles reciprocity from her as we agreed initially for which my mother was the guarantor but later on she became total selfish and started abusing me covertly through relatives and common friends,even then I withstood the illusions,confusions and got married to a good girl then the games increased manifolds to my surprise leading to eventual devaluation,gaslighting&discard...hampering my MEDICAL POSTGRADUATION ambition ...my wife helped me alot in this process to identify the rootcause of all these hardships&misery then we googled alot and come across NPD terminology ...like that my journey started and I'm in the process of total healing...thank god for helping me... I'm able to perceive&process the world differently from earlier illusions...

Eliza Grogan

6 days ago

I was offered a great new job after 8 years with a wonderful company. I knew it was time to move in order to advance. Within weeks, I began to realise that the CEO of my new employers was to be avoided. I heard him fly into rages, at junior staff, for petty reasons. The charming man I had met during my interviews was a bully. I had a major task to grow a new area of business. I created a vision and plan to bring it to fruition. Presented it to the board who were very encouraging. Brought new staff in and we worked hard. Soon the results began to show. CEO started taking more interest but kept expressing doubt. Told me he wanted updates twice weekly. I gained a major contract with one of my target clients. Everybody was thrilled until CEO called me to his office and berated me for not having included him in the presentations I made to the client. My immediate superior tried to protect me but CEO began finding fault with everything I did. Demanded that he attend all future client meetings. Client was, quite obviously, not happy with CEO's constant interruptions and criticism of me. It reached a point where I realised that he was just jealous of my achievements. I was also not outwardly offended by his regular petty complaints about me. 18 months alter I joined his company, I left. I was worn down. To my amazement, the Client contacted me and offered me a senior role with their company. I didn't look back. CEO tried to sue me because his company lost the contract with the client. It was dismissed. Two years later I read that CEO had been dismissed by shareholders. Justice.

sandy mi

1 week ago

"Surviving narc abuse is a super power" love love love this!

After I graduated college, I saved up enough for a down payment on a small house. When I told my narc mother (who never had a job or volunteering gig after getting married at 24 years old because she had no confidence), she said to me, "Isn't that something you want to do with a husband?" Thank goodness that at that time, I had an aunt who was a good role model for me. This is just an example of the destruction caused to me by her. Finally at 45 years old, I had to disconnect from the dysfunctional family. My recommendation to kids in these type of families, is to leave after high school and don't ever come back because this will pollute your life.

Mono Em

6 days ago

I have lost every aspect of myself. I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I've rendered myself to a mere servant. Getting abused everyday. I don't know how I could get out from this.

Mindy Lu artmklu

1 week ago

It honestly took me years to recover enough to gain mental clarity.

Kisha Calhoun

5 days ago (edited)

I gave up being my terrific awesome true self. Wasting time being someone I wasn't to make him and others happy. Now it's my time to truly love myself and have true love, to give love, and not feel sorry for it... time was certainly wasted I'm nobody's fool anymore anymore. Even though I have a long way to go but I do feel free.

Pretty Clear

1 week ago (edited)

My story:

We dated for 8 months publicly and secretly for the remaining 2 years. The abuse started off slow and light. I had no clue on how damaging it was to my mind, body and soul. By the end of the relationship. I lost my integrity, my mental health, physical health and my dreams. I lost all of what little confidence I had from before him. I lost family, friends and support. I developed endometriosis and had migraines almost daily. During the relationship I unintentionally starved myself, and couldn’t eat without feeling nauseous. I gained my control back by doing everything he told me I couldn’t do silently. I learned his abuse techniques. I started pointing out a pattern before I even knew the term “narcissism”. I made him very angry with what little I had made for myself. And I found joy in my progress. Something that was contrary to what I believed would happen. Eventually I started crying silently instead of in front of him. And in those moments I learned what it was like to be a true friend to myself. I cried to my creator and I begged him to help me get out almost everyday that I felt trapped within his control (my abuser). I felt my mind leave my body on one of the last days of being with him. He poured a an entire water bottle over my head in my room on my bed in the middle of a cold December. I was in shock and could see myself from the other side of the room without moving any part of my body. In that moment I realized that what he had just done was a representation of how he viewed me throughout the entire relationship. Then he tried to comfort me with trying to get me to pleasure him sexually. Like as if I was a slave. I pulled my hand away from him. After that night I changed my demeanor. I became cold. Like as if nothing he could do surprised me anymore. Then one day he sent me a message saying that he couldn’t be with me anymore. And that things were over. And instead of asking why like I had the millions of times he broke up with me. I let him go without questions. And 2 weeks later he was public with his new supply. He Married her within 3 months. I have nothing but gratefulness for the loss. However I do feel sad for her. Someday I hope she finds me. And we can talk about our healing. I’m sure he won’t let her live me down just as much as he didn’t let me live out his past idolized girlfriends. Yolonda if you find this comment. Know that I’ve felt only a piece of your pain. And I hope you find yourself again. I care for you deeply and I’m sorry for your abuse that you deal with daily. If you suspect he’s cheating. Just know he did numerous times when he was with me. Most were blondes. And you are valid for all of what you experience on the daily. You don’t need him and never did. Leave him high and dry if you can. Stone wall him and break free. Run as fast as you can and don’t look back. This message if for all the Yolondas out there. 💕 I wish nothing but peace and healing🌱 I am now working at a job I enjoy and I have people that love me around. I paint more often than I did before. And I don’t cry every single day like I used to. I got help for my body by changing my diet. I eat every meal now. And I get acupuncture for all of my other issues I had. I exercise. And I fight hard for my happiness. Maybe one day I’ll get to be some type of therapist/ councilor for domestic violence adolescent survivors(as I was one at one time) until then :) thank you for asking my to share my story 💕🌊

Patricia Powell

1 week ago

Dr. Ramani, I truly love you, for all your work and passion but especially for this video. I can feel your empathy and passion. I watched three times and cried each. Thank you for your sincerity, passion and redeemed-potential. You are heroic for this work. Thank you.

Ray Broome

1 week ago

Wow, I was thrown under the bus for the last time. This time I set up camp and came out with a patent ! Bam! Thank you for what you do!

Megan Vy

6 days ago

Thank you Doctor Ramani!! The words I needed to hear the most was towards the end of the video. You have saved me.

Mirayda Ruff

1 week ago

It’s amazing how you can have so much to say, but be too broken to even come up with anything to say. 😔

Julia H

1 week ago (edited)

Hey, I wanted to add to this something I remembered: When I got divorced years ago after a 16 year marriage, I felt like...What now? I would do whatever if someone would just tell me what to do. There was nothing left of myself after doing everything for him for so many years. I couldn't even remember anything I liked and things that used to make me happy didn't anymore. The void left behind when a narc is finally gone is unimaginable. What I learned is that it is all too easy to let another narc step into that void and often each narc is worse than the last. That is why you must spend time alone after your break up so you can find yourself again. No one else can tell you what makes you happy. You must take the time to find your happiness within and on your own.

This video really got to me. Thank you, Dr. Ramani. Many blessings to you for all of the great work you're doing to help others...❤❤❤

Aivars Blums

1 week ago

So, I grew up in an a household of abject poverty, addictions, domestic violence..

Despite these circumstances.. was optimistic about the future, flailed in school but was intelligent regardless. Began to box, and had promising hopes of making it to the commonwealth games. I spent time working on various business ideas to take my family out of poverty, but during my years was befriended by someone who I now know to be a hush functioning sociopath/narcissist. He eventually influenced me to stop my training.. Eventually using times when I was vulnerable to destroy my psyche. Eventually our social circle began to evolve into a toxic culture where I was witnessing drug dealing/kidnapping/extortion, even conning local motorcycle gangs out of large drug deals. I never took part, tried to stay on the right track. So I eventually went back to school, began studying architecture. I Met a girl who I thought was the one, (I never had the will to date until meeting her) literally felt like time stopped when I met her...which was when things all began to go down hill, I told the narcissist that I met someone who I really liked, unbeknownst to me, this was when this person began to start circulating vicious rumours about me to close friends. By this point, I’d been isolated from my family and had been subjected to devaluation for around 8 years. My business ideas were being subversively stolen, I was made out to be crazy in a small city where everyone knows each other... the girl I liked didn’t understand and left me for someone else, on top of that, the stress plagued me and I had severe burnout and dropped out of school a semester before completing. I was bed ridden for three months getting up for only two hours of the day, while my close friends for the most part, left me abandoned. I was on the brink of insanity and couldn’t tell which thoughts were sane and which thoughts were insane anymore. I’ve had a lot of hopeless moments before but at this point I really couldn’t see anything positive anymore. The only thing that kept me holding on and trying to rebuild my sanity was the thought of my younger brother seeing his older brother lose his mind. I couldn’t let that happen. So slowly, Over a period of a couple of years, I began to rebuild my psyche, feeding myself with positive thoughts, correcting all the negative narratives about myself I’d come to believe... started a business... and I had been waiting for someone in that social circle to begin to be subjected to the gaslighting and rumours that I had gone through... this time it was the sociopaths younger brother, my close friend. After having learned about the different techniques and sociopaths psychology.. I began being able to predict the sociopaths movements before he knew what he was doing.. predicting his purchases for ego validation, understanding when and who he would undermine...figuring out who I could Plant seeds of the idea with and who not to.

Slowly as my close friends (sociopaths younger brother) mental health began to deteriorate where he tried to hang himself late last year while also his fiancé was expecting his child.. I began to educate him, showing him videos on sociopathy. We’ve been reconnecting with past victims in order to clarify the Abuse and reality of their past experiences/situation for many of other victims but which also helped to further solidify our own psyches and understanding. Now the tide is beginning to turn and we’re exposing this person to the town for what he is.. slowly educating more and more people about who this person is, slowly destroying his reputation that has been built off manipulation, hard work of other people and their ideas... the younger brother is much more physically intimidating and once he understood what was going on, the sociopaths indomitable mask began to crack. The sociopath was frightened. He knew that two of the people that were his closest victims now knew exactly what was going on... and from what I’ve heard from my friend, the sociopath was beginning to cower like a school boy... Justice, is still coming.. I’m now in the process of starting an interior design business, also getting into motorcycle mechanics as a hobby. I’ve recently helped to design the fitout of my close friends business and thing are looking optimistic and positive again. Learnt a lot about myself during that period and what I was able to overcome... has been a fucking ride But it is possible to overcome a sociopath.. just I would not recommend it as it is still extremely risky. If you can, cut all ties.. if you want, keep an eye on future possible victims.. and help them as they are discarded.

Rj Lobitos

1 week ago

My told me to just keep quiet at our work because that's how I was, he said. When I help others to do their job, he gets so jealous.

Jenifer York

1 week ago

Ex hubby still controls my life. Ruins every relationship/ friendship i ever had. 25yrs of hell.

Trish Wootten, CHHC

1 week ago

It would take too long to share it all. I moved away in my 40s to the opposite coast for school and a new career, with hopes of rebuilding myself in a new space offering autonomy. (I was the family scapegoat raised by a N dad.) Dad became a peer before he passed, and I am continuing certs in psychological and integrative studies and loving it. FYI to all - study brings awareness which promotes healing. It also offers a tribe of healing souls and hearts.

Rebecca Walker

1 week ago

During my relationship with my ex, he hated that I would climb quickly to promotions at any job I held. No matter the field of work I went into over our 8yr relationship, I would excel in it and I was happy at my job. When he convinced me to move with him to another state and no longer work, his abuse got much worse. As of 7 months ago I left him for good, went no contact completely. I am now going back to school for nursing, then going to CRNA graduate school for my doctorate! I now have the bandwidth as you said.

Nina Nina

1 week ago

I really like you! What did I give up? I gave up my children and my soul. 😭 my self worth.

You’re right we are worth more to the world. Success story, not commuting suicide, waking up everyday, standing up for myself and creating boundaries with my new narcissistic husband and family. My newest milestone? On the 18th of July I will have completed my probation for a job I’ve wanted and went for it! I luv it and it gives me the value I feel I have in the world. Activies coordinator in a nursing home. Now I suffer from PTSD I think I’m nearly healed, heavy depression and on medication, also take CBD which is a awesome, and nootropics. There is so much more I want to do but feel isolated and the Pandemic doesn’t help. I started belly dancing and ballet started going back to church. Then wham. All those years of isolating myself and staying in bed all day really was such a waste. You know this new job, people say they luv my joy and positivity. I feel like I get a life injection from them and have to give it back. I love being part of a team and spreading joy. Is it weird that I am diagnosed with major depression can bring joy to others? I feel like it’s the isolation that brings on the depression. My step mother was a strange one and the D started in high school. She would suppress me so much I couldn’t sit where I wanted at family gatherings. There are so many more aspirations I have to encourage myself to do because I have no close friends in this new country and it’s exhausting and lonely sometimes. Still working on my success story but honestly, I feel like living with joy and live for my children without. Bitterness in my heart is a success. I still wish my ex death by bus but I no longer let Scrappy rule my life and maintain fear. I had to run away from him and the trauma nearly had me commit myself to a mental hospital. The one thought that kept me from going was that he would say tot the kids, see you Mom’s such a looser I told you she was a mess. I no longer live in fear and have a strength and conviction I’ve never had before. I’m still held back by myself and my new husband, you know the Dr Ramani and others guidance I’ll ok, maybe more. 😊🍀

Jules Jay

1 week ago

I have no clue what my dreams or hopes even are at this point and have no clue how to figure it out

Analie C Fernandez

1 week ago (edited)

By the way, Thank you so much, Dr. Ramani. I've been watching yours videos ever since I learned about narcissism, same time I learned I am an Empath. Your videos helped me tremendously during last week of May and the whole month of June! I am a bit okay now, just a bit pain mentally for disbelief...

Carol Rentes

5 days ago

I've always loved art, specially drawing and sculpting, but this wasn't allowed in my house. The funny thing is, my father is an architect, so we always had art supplies at hand, but I used to be mocked (by both) and physically punished by my mother whenever she caught me drawing. After a few years, I finally gave it up, I was 14 when this happened. With 16 I leaved my parents house and a little later started law school (despite doing this because of them, my father still insisted to say I wasn't gonna make it, because I was too incompetent). Between 2012 and 2013 I started therapy, leaving far away from my family, and things slowly started to get untangled. In 2018 I was already a lawyer, stably employed and married, when I finally decided to pick up a graphite pencil again. Now I'm in my 3th year of art school, still working as a lawyer, but making commissioned paintings for the first time (apparently this is not only something I love, but also something I'm very good at). I don't know if I'll ever be able to leave the law completely and provide for myself solely as an artist, but for the first time I'm allowing myself to dream about this, and it has been an amazing journey. One thing I've noticed (and that I wanted very much to ask you about) is that I've been really "accident prone" lately, and injured myself a lot since started this thing of making money as an artist... I'm not sure if those things are connected, as a form of self sabotage, or if it's just a coincidence. Anyway, neither of the accidents where serious, just painful and kinda weird, so I'm still painting. Thank you for your work Dr. Ramani. This video made me cry a lot, but was wonderful to watch.

Donna Joseph-Barford

1 week ago

My mom said "you will never do as well as Gale (sister). I would say "just watch me". I out earn her and love my job while she hates hers lol.

1st husband wanted me to quit college when our I was pregnant with our 1st son. I continue on. When I graduated and got a great job he loved the money.

2and husband was a control freak and would not let me start my own business. Once divorced I started my own business 5 years later.

Never let Narcissist stop you from being the best you you can be.

Erica Anthony-Benavides

1 week ago

My mom threw away my Jamiroquai cds and told me I was too small for upright bass when I was in middle school. I bought those cds years later and an got an upright bass and played shows and did a TEDx "talk" with it :)

alexa lebron

1 week ago

I had no idea what I was going through for so long. I regret the time that was wasted from my life everyday.

Law C.

1 week ago

During my narcissistic marriage I completed a Masters degree, promoted to partner, and became music director at my church in the last 3 years. My narcissistic wife never pitched at my graduation, asked me to quit my job on several occasions,and eventually began devalue and discard when I became music director. I resigned as music director after she started cheating, and I was really depressed for about 5 months. But by the grace of God, I am starting to find my feet again even though she is fighting me every step of the way in our divorce proceedings. The knowledge you provide is invaluable Doctor Ramini. Much appreciated and God Bless.

I live with my mother and one night I drank a bit too much because of this deep sorrow that I don't know how to get rid of, and my mother told me: 'I am going now to another city to babysit your brother's children and I would be glad if I never come back!'

These are her main weapons: GUILT and SHAME.

With inflicted guilt and toxic shame, the narcissists are establishing control over us. If the devil can't get close to you, he sends a narcissist.

Karen Corkern

3 days ago

I was in and out of a relationship with a narcissist. I stayed bc he would always come back crying and with more promises which never happened. It was so toxic and stressful that I had a heart attack at 49. I screamed for him to call 911. He told me he’d take me to the hospital after his clothes dried. 911 came and it was a heart attack bc of mostly stress. He even started on me before I even got out the hospital. That’s when I knew he was going to kill me. I broke it off and it’s still hard. Why I have no clue. I still have trust issues with others. Tomorrow I go in to get another stent put in. I’m trying to find me but I’m sad that I let all this happen but I pray in time every part of me will heal.

L RM

1 week ago

My ex husband, filed for divorce, claiming I cheated. It's the story where the narc tells you you're doing something, but actually it's them...

3 kids involved, the youngest 2 yrs old. I was married to him for a total of 15 years; 8 of them in courtrooms fighting custody challenges. Even so, I got a nursing degree, after some time, I had a house built for the kids and I. Well, my narc never stopped. He would tell my kids lies about me.

He gave my eldest son a letter saying he wanted my 2 boys to live with him, "to teach them how to be men." He actually said he did not want our daughter. The boys left after being encouraged to skip school and be belligerent towards me. For the last 15 years, I have not heard from them. My daughter was never left alone by my ex. Until finally she went to her dad's also. She calls when she's broke.

It still hurts so badly. Ruminating to say the least.

I moved to another state to escape my ex. And the weight of loosing my family has never left me.

I live on my own, I've fixed my credit, and have total freedom. I visit my daughter and gkids once a year. I would live near her, but I will not put up with narc abuse from her.

I'm lost sometimes, but I have survived!!! More than survived. Now, learning how to love me, as God does. Unconditionally, warts and all!!

Dr. Ramani, thank you for imparting your wisdom on us. I'm just trying to dream again. I loved the expression of having a superpower!!!!!

Vasanti Punchoo

1 week ago

Fighting such relationships has driven me into burn out

Kenneth Martinez

1 week ago

So glad I've found You on here! I'm finally free of a horrible partner relationship of 5 years and I'm committed to listening to a video on Narcissism and toxic abuse everyday as i also commit to daily exercise which was even denied in my relationship.

Alexandra Maria

1 week ago (edited)

I do believe that we have to allow ourselves to feel any feeling because the more we avoid perfection and that we should be happy all the time, the more we will have more fulfilled relationships, and repel those who just to suck the good of us.

If you are on social media, for example, use these platforms to educate others. Post-real-life things, and not just the fucking fake perfection. No one is wearing all the time a perfect makeup or having trips all the time. Stop that and educate how all this perfection idea is damaging your brain, and on the way, that's why you are losing healthy individuals. Or do you want unhealthy people in your life?

In one world full of fake perfection, it is hard to show who we truly are, but believe me, the benefits of this are over the top. The best way to not allow anyone to destroy your dreams and potential is just being who you are. Yes, you have to be the real you and not what others expect from you.

I wish all of you a wonderful week!

Alexandra

Lotus Consultations

5 days ago

PS: I got a restraining order against my mother in 2018. I continue to live off grid with no mail and no physical address assigned to the property and I use free wi-fi at places away from home because I know what she'll dee-eeeew!!! ;)

Rose Adams

1 week ago

I’m glad I found you. I enjoy your work, you spot on.

I have question grew up with the worst narcissistic mother for a good portion of my life. But a couple of years ago I found out she is my sister. Very long story I would like to talk to you ,but I know you are busy. Question, do you know any specific books on narcissistic sisters I can’t seem to find any. Thank You 🌹 love you!❤️

Tracy Johnson

2 days ago

I see a social worker now and i have some crazy people next door and cross the street who watch everything iam black living in a white village.... Menasha , Wisconsin everything you said is what my life is like today as we speak they cut me off of employeement. These NarC is trying take everything. I aloud this young girl to keep My car Just so i want loose it. so now she pay the bill.. It kind of like a rental until she is able to get her credit up.. My interest is 3% so i took her to community first credit and she representive said it would be 13 precent if she took over and aloud her a lone. I work so hard to build my life up and these folks ripped my life from me, Not only that. The community i live Gas light me with every opportunity. They pretend help but really not just to cover there self. They use drug dealer addits of any kind they don't care they don"t want me to expose the truth... they used my family as well...... lied just for any kind of information go as far as 25....years Churches people they dont care about. i dont go anymore... Trying pick up the pieces. Hate Crimes..... And act as they didnt do anything while iam hurting... i fight for my sanity because i love my daughter..These people is trying all kinds of fear tactic iam num. But know one taking my child from me they want my home my family my life...and from where i stand they getting away with it. But regardless I Love God and iKnow he has not given up on me.I may loose everything But i refuse to give up my belief although they want aloud me in Church,,,, Thank you for listen God Bless Every thing you do

Tonya Propps

5 days ago

I needed this message today. Thank you so much, Dr. Ramani!

Karen Espig

1 week ago

After 17 years in a narcissistic relationship I re-ignited my passion as an artist. In fact the realization that I wanted to leave him came quite suddenly after a happenstance discussion about art...I felt happy for the first time in AGES! I left and in 15 months have completed 8 paintings (with 6 others in the works)! I’ve begun to grow my art community and have truly never been more myself and happier. I hardly created anything while with him despite him telling everyone I was an artist. I’m so pleased there is so much information and dialogue around this type of abuse now. Thank-.you Dr R for your contribution!

Kara Tripoli

5 days ago

I just wanted to say thank you so much for this channel. I truly hope that one day I will be able to tell the tale of how I survived what I've been through and how i succeeded in spite of it all. Today I am 12 days shy of my 30th birthday and i have been enmeshed and abused by narcissists from my very first life breath to literally today. I was raised in a gang of narcissists. Mom, dad, step dad, siblings. Having 3 narcissistic parents will fuck a human up. I knew about the other parents, but i only had my ah-ha moment about my mom March of this year after having to put my entire life and budding acting career on hold to figure out what the fuck was wrong with me. I knew i came from an abusive place and that i had escaped from it right out of high school. But there was more, i just couldnt put my finger on it. as each year away from home passed, my life fell a little bit more apart and my mental health gradually declined. college wasnt too bad because i was in school, hyper career focused, and also still very much in contact with my mom and family. she came to see my shows and performances. i maybe made it home for the holidays a couple of times throughout college. i fantacized what my time home would be like each time and get excited, only to be let down and reminded how shitty it is. by the end of my junior year into the senior year of college i was struggling. even still, i was working professionally as an actress in theater and still able to (just barely) hold down a job due to my mental health decline. shit really hit the fan for me after college when i moved to NYC. again, rising as an artist, but now rapidly declining mental health. my career was really about to roll, but i had to pull out. my skills were more than sharp enough to be working, but my life was completely unmanagable. I was battling a terrible eating disorder since i was a preteen that had now gotten significantly worse that I self-admitted into an inpatient treatment center (i now know it was a symptom of what was actually going on: trauma -> anxiety/OCD -> eating disorder) i put everything on hold, moved across the country from NYC to LA to pursue my journey of healing and self-discovery. ive heard that LA is a nice place for healing, but horrible for relationships! (shocker). And sure enough, since moving here 41/2 years ago, ive had a string of narcissistic and psychologically abusive relationships, which put me right back into therapy, where ive been for years now as each new relationship became worse than the one before. I'm still recovering from them. the gaslighting was so bad that im left so disoriented and confused. i still will fall into the thinking that im the problem, but im never given the chance to see if i could have a healthy relationship bc i keep attracting narcissists. I believe relationships HAD to get very awful and i had to lose jobs, friends, my home, LIFE in order to lead me to the discovery about my mom - which is what i was truly searching for all along, the root of everything. It was a life-shattering moment to learn that this person who i never would have dreamed was actually abusing me. I was well aware of what narcissistic abuse was when i found out about her (and despised nothing more), so to learn about my mom - that she was one of them - ugh -she never actually loved me -she was a fraud - that i was just her little fucking puppet - how she ostracized me from everyone and everything - no words. i keep getting flooded with flashbacks and connecting of the dots. ill be outside on a jog and get hit with one, have to sit on the curb and cry, get up and keep going (metaphor of my entire life). i was enraged when i found out about her and there isn't any possible way to express the level of heartbreak i feel. i cry every day still. sometimes all day. she is cruel. i struggle to be mad at her sometimes still because i am so programmed to feel sorry for her. how do i still feel somewhat sorry for her???! but that is slowly shifting the more i keep connecting my childhood dots, the less and less sorry i feel and the more i vow that i will never speak to her again. it's been almost 4 months now since that discovery and since i've cut off complete contact with my entire family. i now see how they all enabled and participated in it. im deeply hurt, but more than hurt, im just absolutely disgusted by their behavior. absolutely disgusted. i cant even look at them. the light i tried to bring to that family - they dont deserve to have me around ever again. supply they will get from me no longer.

i had to grieve the loss of the mother i never had, the loss of my 2 big brothers who i couldnt save (my parents pinned us all against each other). i always knew about my dad, so as awful as he was it just never felt like i had one to begin with. but my mom news enrages, shocks, and devastates me. Im struggling right now big time. I often want to die. I have moments of empowerment. but I still struggle to get out of bed each day because it wasnt just my mom, it wasnt just my dad, step dad, enitre family. it was countless narcissistic partners who have psychologically, mentally/emotionally, sexually abused me like a mother fucker. even friends who i later discover are narcs and psychopaths. it literally never ends. if i even tried to tell anyone how many narc relationships ive survived just in the past year alone. no one would even believe me. ive lost nearly everyone from my life, jobs, my home of 3 years (the first home ive ever actually felt was home). Im like a magnet for them, and i never knew why. but now i do. and now im going to change this around and outsmart them. its the only way at this point for my survival i feel. i have to detach, outsmart, gain a crazy amount of elf assurdness and confidence, and build as much immunity to them as i can. this is survival, and i study this stuff now. i believe that becoming an expert in it will help me to protect myself. I honestly dont know how much more i can take. they have suffocated and paralyzed me.

i want to believe that i can prevail, that i can prove every single one of these disgusting humans in my life that i have risen above them. that they may have injured me in same way, but that no matter what they do, no matter how poorly they've treated me, gaslit, abused, etc they can never BE me. to show them that GOOD can RISE. that they dont have the power to destroy me. and less and less to disrupt my inner peace. that good DOES prevail. that as much as theyve taken from me in all aspect, there is a part of me they will never ever reach even if they cut me open and took out everything that's inside of me. There is still a part of me that they will never reach.

i am FIGHTING around the clock all day every day to recover. i want my life back. i miss it. i feel like i walk with a weighted blanked draped over my head and entire body. life doesnt feel the same, so i dont have one at the moment. this is literally all that i am able to do. the first 30 years of my life was taken from me. and im sad, but im doing my best to study, read, research, learn the ins and outs of it all to help me heal past wounds, but more importantly to help repel new ones from entering my personal realm moving forward. the problem is theyre out there..eveywhere! and theyre waiting for us. so until i heal more, find the strength, learn how to set strong ass boundaries i will stay away from most people. right now im hypervigilant/ survival mode and scared. and i must nurture and focus on myself.

i hope to share a more inspiring story one day. for now i will hold my head up high knowing i have gotten to where i am completely on my own. to have made it this far, i must have strength and a stronger sense of self than i even realized. or perhaps something greater working through me. i CAN go further by staying vigilant in this work and by keeping my glass half full.. at all times <3

this channel is helping me more than you know. i listen all day. at night when im up being flooded and cant sleep i come to this channel. Dr. Ramani, you are a true angel for your work and for helping this community as selflessly as you have. not many out there like you. with so much gratitude. thank you. xo, kara~

MilagrosV Martinez

1 day ago

I came across this video and

I must comment.

Thank you - Might I add

I do appreciate the topic;

Personal, Baseline, Strategic Plan and directives are Overimposed. I would like to see less emotional projection and more practical approaches to Psychology.

You seem a wonderful and lively Therapist!

Nina Thompson

1 week ago

You are so amazing! Thank you for all that you do. I have survived two narcissist parents and have been in narcissistic relationships.

I am now completing my associates degree and have been accepted in a bachelor program. I am over 40 and have been dealing with this all my life, ruminating over and over what’s wrong with me!!!! Because of gaslighting and manipulation. I felt like something was wrong with me. I’m the crazy one. I thank god for healing and the power of saying no and setting boundaries. I feel so much better in life and feel like nothing can stop me because I began to love & respect myself first. No longer a people pleaser and I have made myself aware of belittling myself and becoming a better me. God bless.

Lex

1 week ago

One of the most important video you’ve ever done. Thank you. Since starting my healing journey, I’ve learned to backpack, finally expressed myself through comedy and started a successful comedy site. I still struggle to turn this into the business brand it could be because I struggle asking for money, dealing with it — I’m sure all leftover self worth issues. Like you said, change and healing isn’t overnight, but I’m very proud of all the exciting new things I’ve been able to do without wasting my energy on narcissistic people anymore.

Louise Kerr

1 week ago

If my ex looked after our daughter on his sheduled days then that was him doing me a favour so i could go to work 🤣😅🙃 10 years down the line and my daughter is barely interested in him anymore and im pursuing my nursing degree 🥰i take great pleasure watching his discomfort in my happiness and being a good mother 😘

Aneela Aslam

5 days ago

10:15 she is so true

My question is, "Is this a growing problem? Does it differ from bullying, in the sense that it can cause victim suicides?"

In general, I don't agree with any of these behavior issues (Of coarse), and I've found myself giving support to a loved one that comes home in tears after being the victim of other peoples mouths. I'm worried. I've helped said individual change employment because of constant undeserved faultfinding.

Narcissists & Bullies; are these what one might classify as 'Contagious Human Behaviors'?

What I mean by that is, if a person on the side sees this happening to a victim, could bystanders 'Jump on the Bandwagon'?

Please share the answers publicly for all of us to see. Thank you.

Parveez Chinoy

4 days ago

Thank you so much for these insights which have been so helpful. I do often come across some/ several of these aspects in others in my life and in my clients’ lives . Keeping my own light shining and helping others not to dim theirs especially when they are in a relationship with a narcissist has been transformative and liberating. Thank you for all that you do🙏🏼

TheAlpha0zero

7 hours ago

i litterally shed a tear, you gave me so much motivation to survive this. It could be a game changer. Thank you.

Renee Morgan

1 week ago (edited)

Crying....I'm 59 yrs old...and went no contact 3 yrs.ago from covert narcissistic and codependent upbringing. Not only did I deal with all of those issues, I dealt with being the only daughter/scapegoat and middle child. I had two strong voices to listen to which were both very dominant and confusing. I always wondered why I had a difficult time finishing certain goals....I do know now. I was always strong willed and was able to complete my nursing degree amidst all the dysfunction. Now that my mind is getting clearer, I am writing about it in a memoir about the disorder. In hopes that it will encourage other people to start to love themselves enough to know surviving and thriving is possible.

Julia Papworth

Ideal City Living - ICL, GTV

Saturday 18 July 2020

Narcissistic Personality Disorder 1

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