Mindsets for Growth and Positive Thinking
If I cling to the notion that something is not possible, I'm arguing in favor of limitation and if I argue for my limitations I get to keep them.
[The Fight of Two Wolves Within You
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life:
“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil–he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”
He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you–and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
First Lesson: The Fight is Eternal
The first part of the story is telling us that we can never get rid of the first wolf, the first wolf will always be there. The fight between two wolves is eternal.
Both wolves will always be there. This applies to our emotions, behaviors, habits, and every other aspect of our life.
I used to fall into the trap of trying hard to banish the negative side of myself. I would force myself to eat 100% healthy all the time, beat myself up for relaxing even for just a minute, and tried to get rid of those negative thoughts in my head.
The truth is that none of us is living in pure bliss. What we can do is to act in spite of those negative feelings or hard times. We can take those fears, those worries, those doubts and move forward anyway. That’s how you feed the second wolf.
Feeling unmotivated to workout, workout anyway.
Not feeling confident in your upcoming sales presentation, do it anyway.
Not happy with your spouse, show him/her your love
Imagine if we’re paralyzed by the first wolf, by doing nothing, accomplishing nothing, and getting nowhere. We’d lose the momentum to move forward and indirectly we’d be feeding the evil wolf!
Besides, what will you be doing by telling yourself you haven’t accomplished anything? How will you feel when you get nothing done all the time? You won’t just stop at where you are; you’ll be moving backward! And the evil wolf will get stronger day by day.
Small Actions Build Momentum
Now, start telling yourself you’re worthy, begin to believe in your ability and act in spite of fears and doubts, in spite of constraints and challenges. One step forward will always be a step ahead even it’s tiny.
Instead of doubting yourself and doing nothing, you can try to learn new things and expand yourself at a slower pace. Instead of focusing on the fears within, start with ONE thing you should (and could) do that is right in front of you.
Want to lose 100 pounds and achieve your fitness goals? Start by walking for 15 minutes a day if you haven’t yet. Then start learning squats and maybe push-ups with your body weight and make slow progress from there.
Want to build a community with a vast audience? Focus on delivering quality content, and start building ONE audience at a time. Provide value to ONE person at a time and grow your audience from there.
Want to start a business? Start by validating your idea and find one customer. Then optimize your product and offering from there.
Start Feeding The Right Wolf
One truth to remember is that it’s so much easier to feed the first wolf — the first wolf is there to encourage the easier options in life. It’s easier to complain, procrastinate, dismiss, ignore, and give up.
There is almost no effort required to do those things, and you’re getting the reward with the sensation of relieving and instant gratification without much an action.
The second wolf is very different; it’s picky, it’s harder to feed. It’s challenging, tiring and time-consuming to do things like learning, teaching, inspiring, sharing or simply sticking to a new behavior. These things take so much energy, effort, momentum, and guts. And you don’t usually see immediate results from them.
Which wolf you choose to feed will define who you are, and we all know we should feed the second wolf — even if it’s harder. Feeding the second wolf is how we end up feeling a sense of accomplishment and success at the end of the day.
By conquering the temptation of the first wolf we opt for a much more challenging (but right) option in life.
Feeding Both Wolves
In the Cherokee world, however, there’s another version of the story and it ends this way:
Feeding Both Wolves in Your Mind
The old Cherokee simply replied, “If you feed them right, they both win.” and the story goes on:
“You see, if I only choose to feed the white wolf, the black one will be hiding around every corner waiting for me to become distracted or weak and jump to get the attention he craves. He will always be angry and will always fight the white wolf.”
“But if I acknowledge him, he is happy and the white wolf is happy and we all win. For the black wolf has many qualities — tenacity, courage, fearlessness, strong-willed and great strategic thinking–that I have need of at times. These are the very things the white wolf lacks. But the white wolf has compassion, caring, strength and the ability to recognize what is in the best interest of all.”
“You see, son, the white wolf needs the black wolf at his side. To feed only one would starve the other and they will become uncontrollable. To feed and care for both means they will serve you well and do nothing that is not a part of something greater, something good, something of life.”
“Feed them both and there will be no more internal struggle for your attention. And when there is no battle inside, you can listen to the voices of deeper knowledge that will guide you in choosing what is right in every circumstance.”
“Peace, my son, is the Cherokee mission in life. A man or a woman who has peace inside has everything. A man or a woman who is pulled apart by the war inside him or her has nothing.”
“How you choose to interact with the opposing forces within you will determine your life. Starve one or the other or guide them both.”]
Why?
by tyler tervooren | 4 minute read
The question “Why?” doesn’t get nearly the credit it deserves.
When we’re 5 years old, we ask it incessantly – it’s the one tool we have to understand the world around us. We ask it again and again…and again until we’re satisfied that we know why something is the way it is.
Then we grow up, and “Why?” becomes taboo. For some reason, once you’re an adult, you’re considered annoying or a nuisance when you ask “Why?” It’s as if once you’re old enough to put on a tie, you’re supposed to accept that if you don’t already know why, then you don’t need to; you just need to do it. Of course, that’s ridiculous. The world is always changing and “Why?” is always a relevant question.
In fact, “Why?” is the most important question in the whole universe.
The potential that it carries when it’s asked is immense and the knowledge and empowerment it provides when it’s answered is unmatched by any other force. Once we’re adults, we might not say it aloud as much, but we’re still asking.
Every day, everyone on earth is asking “Why?” and if you’re on a quest to lead a meaningful life, you should keep asking it, too. In every action you take, ask yourself, “Why am I doing this? What will I get out of it? Is this what I really want?” It’s so easy to pass over these questions and just do what we think we’re supposed to because everyone else is. Taking a second to actually ask yourself “Why?” – and I recommend doing it out loud – can quickly put so many things in perspective.
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It can change your whole life. I know it’s changed mine. I spent years doing what I thought I was supposed to do until I finally sat down and asked myself “Why?” The answers were shocking. Now I spend 99% of my time doing things that are actually important to me.
Just as important as answering it for yourself is answering it for others. It’s important to show people the reasons you do what you do. In fact, if you ever want to have any influence, answering “Why?” for your audience is the most critical question you’ll ever address.
Why should they care about what you’re doing?
Why should they pay attention to you?
What do you have to offer that will help them?
Why do I climb mountains, run marathons, and chase other random adventures?
Because it’s thrilling and I want to live a very full life. Because I can’t be satisfied with doing only what’s expected of me. A full life to you may mean something else, but that’s what it means to me. That’s my answer.
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Why do I write Riskology.co?
Because I want to help others see how they can pursue their own uncertain path. I want you to know all about the lessons I learn on my own adventure so that they might help you start your own. Every time I write an article, send a tweet, or answer an interview question, I ask myself why you should care about it.
Some things I do just for me, but most things I do for both me and you. I think that’s really important to leading a meaningful and influential life – constantly asking yourself why someone else should care. If I didn’t do that, I have no doubt you’d never come back here. That applies to anyone doing something interesting.
If you’re an artist, ask yourself why your audience should care about what you’re creating. How can you get into their head and produce something that is really meaningful not just to you, but to them. What do they want in a piece of art and how can you give it to them in your own unique style that shows that you care?
If you run a business, what problems do your customers have that you can fix for them? Why should they pay attention to your product instead of your competition’s? How does what you sell allow them to live a better life? If you want to survive, you have to answer these questions.
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If you’re an adventurer, what can others learn from your experience? Why do they need to know about the things that you do, and how does knowing that help them improve their own lives? Why should anyone else care that you do crazy things?
If you’re a volunteer, are you helping to solve real problems for real people that actually need help, or are you just doing something to make yourself feel better? Why should the people you’re helping use your resources to help themselves? If it’s not obvious, they probably won’t.
After about 10 years old, we’re generally discouraged from asking “Why?”, but that’s only because it’s a difficult question to answer. It’s much easier to just accept that “that’s the way it’s done.” But to ask “Why?” is human nature. Even if it’s not being said out loud, always know that it’s being asked internally.
“Just because” is a common answer, but it’s never satisfying. If you can answer “Why?” with a meaningful response – to yourself and to others – you wield an incredible power to change the way people perceive the world. Use it cautiously.
So how about you over there? What are you doing and, most importantly, why?
2) People lose their way when they lose their why.
3) Prioritize creativity and play
If I am not actively creating something, then chances are I am probably actively destroying something - myself, a relationship, or my own peace of mind.
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