Narcissistic Personality Disorder 6

Thank you again for your wonderful content. It's helping me in so many ways to recover from the narcissists in my life.

Even before I realized my mother had NPD, she inspired not one, but TWO villains in my debut novel, Honor must prevail.

I've wanted to become a mental health professional for several years, and I've always been scared to share this with anyone because I'm older and would be a non-traditional student. I opened up to my aunt who shamed me for considering it. She told me I had too many issues to become a therapist and that I should be cautious to put them on others. Do I have struggles? Absolutely! But somehow, I've let my aunt's words ruminate in my head and it keeps me from enrolling. I have come close but have dropped out twice because maybe she's right -- maybe I'm too damaged to help others.

Michele Waterman

1 week ago

Thank you! You have helped me so much with every video I watch!

S G

1 week ago

My story is at best two-fold - narcissistic abuse from my father - who invalidated me emotionally & mentally & sabotaged my scholastic interests - and from my now ex-husband. I left the marriage at age 50 when I saw the opportunity to train in and develop a career that I loved. His sabotage of my success was through financial and social/family means, creating an entire flock of flying monkeys & defrauding me of my financial security. I did achieve some notable success for 10 years, benefiting many clients & conquering the initial debt imposed upon me. Then I became engaged to an old high school friend. Shortly after moving in together, his verbal abuse triggered my waking in the morning with flashbacks to all the emotion I had avoided at the time my husband first attacked me physically. I went into full blown ptsd symptoms. I had taken a sabbatical from my work, taking time to reorganize for our living situation. I lost and have never recovered my skills. As I said to my sister who didn't understand what I was dealing with, "It was like being knocked in the head". I'd had big dreams for the potential of the work I had trained in. I also had several writing projects that held great promise - one dealing specifically with 'human potential', which is the foundational passion of my life. Tania commented here using the phrase "dead alive". That says it for me. The financial strings on my life perpetuated and 17 years of no contact left me the one out of graduations & celebrations. I can 'clean up and show up' in the world, but it is a performance. I have chosen to encounter him in person on 3 occasions - a wedding, a funeral, and finally a graduation, after having missed many, but am determined to go 'no contact' again. He is a dangerous man if challenged or crossed - devious & calculating & corrupting, and I have therefore kept my silence with esp. my grandchildren. He knows my kids/grandkids are my Achilles Heel. They of course sense the toxicity, but he showers them with gifts & good times - family reunions, etc., and they love us both - knowing there is something they 'don't know'. But, his being in their lives plus my ongoing financial precariousness keep his influence present in my life. The proverbial 'pumpkin shell' metaphor seems to fit. The real irony is that it was my support for his 'hidden' potential that first inspired & then partnered with his rising to a pinnacle of his eventual profession.

Mary Biffar

1 week ago

Helping a friend married to a Narc for 15 years. Love your videos. Very helpful in the healing process, and more importantly the "moving on". It's almost impossible to get him to talk about his dreams. But slowly . . . slowly . . . slowly . . . it's coming out!! Keep up the good work.

Miko Li

1 week ago

You are the best, Dr Ramani! I am literally crying now watching this!!!!

Rohit Sharma

1 week ago (edited)

after watching your videos now I understand my parents , and younger sister are all narcisist. infacr I am the scapegoat and my sister is golden child. now what do I do..? run away? now I understand why at age of 13 or 17, i felt sudden urges to run away from home at night when all were sleeping, i could never even gather that courage. opened the door and went till gate. and cried and came bak... I am empath, I know they are like this from outside . they are very weak from inside and if i leave them they wll prerish. if I live with them , I am not able to achieve anything.

Rebenko

1 week ago

Thank you Dr. Ramani, I am working on cutting off those sandbags from my wings.

Juliet Albuquerque

1 week ago

I Love you so much Dr. Ramini ! I wish I had heard all your videos 29 years ago . I’m sure you’re changing a lot of lives with your videos . God bless .

Schéhérazade KHOURI

1 week ago

i ve observed many of those perverse narc change their partner to become sick too >they become perverse narc too in an average or long term - time

Been There

1 week ago

My narcissist family ignored my successes and played up my flaws, real and imagined. I was bullied by siblings in childhood and my mother told me I was stupid. For decades, my narcissist family members put me down. It never stopped. I also was targeted when I earned awards so I hid them out of anxiety over attracting put downs. When I made it into my current career, the words of my narcissist family echo in my mind. It's added a hurdle to an already challenging, stressful career. I limited my expectations for myself in my career, expecting I wasn't capable. 23 years later, I regret that because I had skill sets I didn't know I had. If I had had a firmer foundation from childhood, I could have done great things in my career. I am no contact now from all my narcissist family members. I am still learning that there are decent people in the world now that the toxic people are no longer working to pull me down. Sad that it came so late in my life.

Missy Lee Music

1 week ago

I'm three years out, wrote a book about it & can honestly say the world looks great from up here :) thanks doctor rockstar, i mean Ramani ;)

Nicole Broomes

1 week ago

"Surviving narcissistic abuse is a super power" (Dr. Ramani, 2020).

When I told my son's dad it was over, he told me he was not leaving my apartment and that I did not know what I wanted. I slept in the living room for 2 months. Some mornings I would open my eyes to his penis close to my face and him asking me, "are you sure you don't want this?" I would just turn and fall right back to sleep which irritated him even more. I had my own salon when he met me and recently bought a car. Everything went down hill when we had our son and he claimed I was paying too much attention to the baby. Lol. HIS child. Smh! My independence was like a memory. Every accomplishment I had was to him a waste of time. In fact, when my son was settled in school, I decided to continue my studies and got accepted into university, pursuing my Psychology degree. He told his family that I was still thinking that I am "young" going back to school. Thanks to the support of his mother(God rest her soul) and my sisters, I was able to complete my journey. I would have graduated in June 2020 but because of the epidemic, I would be graduating, with honours on November 2020. I'm so happy that I did not give up. I fell but did not give up. I cried but did not give up. I said many times "why me" but I did not give up. That "super power" I've allowed to always be stronger than myself because without it, it's complete chaos. One thing that kept my determination was my son. I told myself, I said, "Self" 😂 "Are you teaching your son that a woman should accept treatment like this by staying in a toxic relationship with his father? Is this the example you want your child to emulate on how to treat a woman?" That, is where I said ENOUGH!! I was never physically abused but boy oh boy, psychologically, financially, emotionally, spiritually.... I've gotten the mother load! I believe these abuses are worst than physical abuse(not making light on anyone who's gone through physical abuse). I am forever healing and I want it no other way. My experiences helps me to help others. I keep hearing the saying, "hurt people, hurt people". While that is on point, I believe that hurt people that have been healed or healing, can also help hurt people. You are a blessing Dr. Ramani and I thank you for sharing your knowledge with us. I trust that we ALL achieve our truest potential. Failing and understanding why we've failed is part of growth. Once we understand that! We can do it! 💜TRINI🇹🇹 💜

M Zbronska

1 week ago

This video touched me so much that I just had to leave a comment. After three years of being in a narcissistic relationship I could barely recognize myself, he slowly destroyed my dreams and what was important to me. In the end I was only an empty vessel, only an addition to him. I thought I was going crazy. Now, a month after break up, I am living in a different country and applied for studying abroad next year, I feel myself again.

global heals

1 week ago

Thank you for spotting this issue!! I know how shitty that can show..

Martine Metzger

1 week ago

Please let me do the French subtitles on that one !

Maureen Fitzgerald

1 week ago

I gave up a dream!! I own a home with a horse barn and am a social worker. My dream has always been to have a therapeutic equine riding program. I met my NPD husband 4 1/2 years ago and he was IN LOVE with my property. I joked with him in the beginning that he love my house more than he loved me. Only it wasn’t a joke. Within 4 years we were married, all of the horses were moved out of my barn (because his dream was to have a woodworking shop and I went along with it to keep him happy) I left my part time job managing a horse farm and then left my full time job as a director in a therapeutic foster care agency (the kiddos I hoped to serve). Three months later the emotional abuse had escalated so much and was effecting my daughter as well. There was so much rage towards us and even physical abuse towards my dog. I think he thought he had taken enough away from me that I would stay and allow it. The last straw happened when he violated my daughters privacy (taking pictures of her while she was asleep and while he was wearing only a towel). That was it for me. I flipped out and told him to get the “f” out of my house. He came at me and spat “I’m not going anywhere “wife “”. Because of his temper, rage and witnessed physical abuse of our dog, we called the police and he’s was escorted off my property. I filed a restraining order and a few days later he filed for divorce. Not even two weeks later he was in a relationship and living with another woman (who I think he had been seeing for months). This was the 7th or 8th time that he left me in the short time we were together. Also, he’s an alcoholic (dry at the end but nevertheless) and in the past threatened to kill me and told me I am a nobody I am nothing and my daughter is an a$$hole.

plant based rave babe

1 week ago

You saved my life! Thank you <3

Lovejoys Commentaries

1 week ago

I got away from destructive men and rebuilt my life. Narcs came creeping around..

Breaking in.

Messing with my head.

I should have been wiser stronger and persevered.

I hope I can rebuild. Idk.

Loughborough Lake Holiday Park

1 week ago

I share your utter disdain and what I consider a healthy and quiet loathing for those who relish the chance to do their worst.

Having come out from the experience stronger, I’ll simply say that irony is delicious.

To limit another’s potential is beyond my capacity to describe. To describe it is to have the abyss stare back at you.

the generous child

1 week ago

I don,t even know what i like an want in live because of my mother

Amberlynn Adams

1 week ago

Dr. Ramani, I watch all your videos with great anticipation and ultimate understanding. This one, when I saw the title...and even now writing while only one minute into viewing it... I can admit without a doubt I avoided watching. And now I am hearing your introduction. If I do not comment after viewing, it's only because I'm getting ready for work. Dreading wearing a mask for 7 hours while it is 93 degrees farenheit. It's all topsy turvy. God bless you.

Moose Johnson

1 week ago

i got angry. It's a great agent to healing. Allow yourself to feel anger and plan your way out of the narcissistic relationship. I think my parents were narcissists. I got out; I lived in poverty for many years. It was worth it. It was better than living with affluence and abuse.

Marek M

1 week ago

Your work is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Lucy Harris

1 week ago

Looking forward to sharing a survivor story in the near future.

Nabtono

1 week ago

I'm currently in terror paralysis. Everytime I think about doing something that will potentially anger my parents I get this feeling because they launch in rage attacks. They can always sense when I'm no longer paralyzed by fear and I'm actually feeling free. That's when they strike again. I don't know how to break that cycle so I can be free and earn the money I need to be self-sufficient.

Trisha Brown

1 week ago

The narcissists kept him down, type cast as an idiot and scapegoat, and then I came around. When I did, he began to believe. He finished his bachelor's, earned his masters with high honors, and got a career he deserved.

They played games and sabotaged all the way through and in the end tried to take credit. It was their work in the beginning. Their genetics and support... blah blah blah...

His success was not his but theirs.

When he made more money than the golden child, had more successful children, and began to thrive, they became malignant. Our children won't make it in school.... They were taught at home... They told my son these things and his tender heart was sad.. He proved them wrong.

Their predestined winner lost due to their toxicity, and their predestined losers thrived, because I saw through their games.

And the games keep coming, but we keep dodging. Their games have made their golden grandchild so twisted up inside he is violent towards my daughter. But the more time I spend with him, the more he is drawn in. When he comes over, I don't have a single problem with him after the first few minutes. He joins the kid pack and is free.

The proof is always in the pudding. They call me all kinds of names behind my back and poison people against me, but if you look at my fruit, I am good. I change people in positive ways and make them better. I always have.

My key to success is to ignore them no matter what they say and what they do and keep doing what I know is right, no matter the cost. If you do this, you will always have steadfast good results.

bobby bloomer

1 week ago

Your insight and knowledge is amazing, thank you

Teresa Gwizdala

1 week ago

Three weeks ago I saw one of your videos on gaslighting and felt the light bulb go off in my head. I immediately bought your book and began devouring it. I felt like I was seeing in color for the first time in a year. Two weeks ago today I lost my job. I believe my ex-boss is a communal narcissist. She constantly tore me down and limited me. I could never understand how she could be so “good” in our community but be so toxic to myself and my coworkers. I loved the work that I did, and I will miss it. But I feel like that 300 point weight is off me. I know healing will take time, but I’m beginning to remember the dreams I had and starting to believe in myself again.

Jill Schlesener

1 week ago

My husband said he could pull some strings for me to sing the national anthem at the Cardinals baseball game, a few year back... I'm like, yay let's do it! He then says, maybe if you lose about 40lbs 🥺

I actually lost 63 lbs, but it doesn't matter, he's still a prick

kwiet

1 week ago

I wasted nearly 2 years with someone who used and abused me. I am embarrassed and ashamed that I allowed myself to be treated that way. Especially after a 20 year , abuse filled marriage. I made another mistake!

I no longer trust myself to make any decisions....not just concerning who I date, but any decision.

It is very hard to claw your way out of the hole.

Im so grateful for Dr. Ramini creating this wonderful , accessible content. It helps me to gain some insight and see that there are reasons this happened and not because I was stupid.

Jan Willem van der Poll

1 week ago

Very inspiring to me this talk Dr. Ramani. Im a survivor of NA, but still struggling to get completely free of it. Im a good bit on the way and this talk supports me a lot!

Noha El-Shazly

1 week ago

Loss of potential... this is what I was looking for, it has been nearly a year, I couldn't even put the feeling into words. You did it for me, dr. Ramani, thank you for this video. I still find it challenging voicing my thoughts clearly, but I pray to God to find my way through this. Your videos help tremendously. Thank you again.

Seeker Ofknowledge

1 week ago

As a 5 time stroke, heart attack, lupus, multiple child abuse predators survivor, who married 2 completely bipolar narcissists the one thing I know is all my power is only within me. My past does not determine my future, who I am, or who I want to be. I've learned all too well, you may get knocked down, repeatedly, but you don't have to stay down! I look beyond myself to improve the world by actively protesting.

I use it to fight Congress from repealing the International Migratory Bird Treaty Act on July 20, 2020 vote. The catastrophic repercussions it will bring onto All of The Americas will cause the next pandemic. The ending of laws protecting birds, all endangered species, including our National Symbol. If passed the disruption to the food chain makes US ultimately the endangered species.

The destruction and of selling off OUR (WE THE PEOPLES) National Parks, the ABOLISHING of restrictions of building roads in them as Congress is allowing the strip mining of every kind in them. ABOLISHING laws protecting us from the next BP EXXON disasters! Corporations will no longer be held financially responsible for any damages or destruction they cause to OUR National Monuments or it's INHABITANTS!

We the people are facing some very big global disasters, environmentally, financially, pandemically!

I became the activist I used to be when I wasn't married to narcissists, even though I'm still stuck with one.

I have always said, I may wear makeup, but give up is not in my make up!

Dreams may die or fade away but you can always modify or make a new one!

I just had to decide how I was going to react. I completely changed my self way of thinking. I lost significant weight, (against his wishes, so no one else would want me). I workout, work on me, (with you Dr. Ramani).

I always do as one positive thing daily for something other than my little world but rather for the protection of this country, it habitats, and the entire worlds environmental welfare.

I'm just gonna keep saying my piece until I pass because I have the power to do the right thing regardless of ALTHOUGH THE WRONG SEEM STRONG GOD RULES THE WORLD! I can and must each day do my best to make a difference! The power of the internet has opened a new avenue to reach far beyond with grassroots protests that I will use to fight the fight of the voiceless! At least I can live in peace that I did speak up and try to right a wrong against the largest power group of narcissism in this country! CONGRESS!

Rachel B

1 week ago

I decided to go to grad school. I could feel the disapproval when I told him. I didn't care. I even asked him to go to school with me so he could finish his degree (Bachelor's). He told me no. If it wasn't for going back to school, I might have never realized how selfish he was and how little he did for me. Of course, he didn't have much time since he was also creating a whole other life with someone else. Narc free and school is over this month! <3

Kono Kono

1 week ago

For three years I could only focus on pleasing narcissistic ex completely abandoning my hobbies, friends and school. He hated when I did something or go somewhere without him.

Megan B

1 week ago

i'm very lucky that i'm able to recognize this with the help of your videos and other sources. i'm only 24 but my parents and also my grandparents used to belittle and degrade my art and acting talents and my parents forced me to go to school in a particular region of america, where i could only afford to go to one place that didn't have a good art program and i lost so much of my light when my grandpa said "are you even that good?" when i (over and over) would express how much i dreamed of one day being an actress. when i would give my parents my art projects to use as decorations they would say "oh this is nice i'll get it framed" well surprise - it's still sitting in a pile on the top of their closet "waiting to get a frame" ..... they even talk badly to my brother who is an incredible musician and producer ABOUT HIS MUSIC. my dad told my brother "you know, not everyone is meant to make music" like wtf???? and why do i still talk to myself like they used to talk to me? i go as little contact as possible but i can't fully break contact yet. i just want to know how to start my life how i want to 😞 i genuinely don't know how to do anything for myself it infuriates me

Learn to Thrive

1 week ago (edited)

Won’t make this long—suffice it to say he was always jealous of my jobs and my success so as internalized all he was saying I doubted myself more and more. I really wanted to do life coaching but he minimized my interest, ability, and kept questioning whether it was a good path for me. I moved out—some friends let me stay with them for free—I signed up for online training. I am now am a certified life coach and I am helping women who have experienced toxic relationships learn to thrive, not nearly to survive! *in the divorce process now...

Miriam Ramsey

1 week ago

An always runs down other people he knows that does good in there life an is building a life , so much jealously and even shared that with his kids to make them think it's ok

Natasha Ev Simon

1 week ago

I was filled with fake promises to help me build towards to future, that had me waiting for months into years for nothing.

For nothing.

Narcissistic abusers are murderers.

CAZWELL NYC

1 week ago

I feel like at this point you've made 7,357,023 videos about narcissism, but this one was the most important.

Dan Chapman

1 week ago

Thank you for these videos Dr. Ramani 🙏

DoctorRamani

Martin Slidel

1 week ago

Worth the listen; beautiful and empowering words.

Lucy Harris

1 week ago

Dr Romani, I have so many stories that fit this video content after a 26 yr relationship with a covert. The success of almost 21 years marriage was not living together as he traveled for work. But the last 8 that he’s been home have been a nightmare. I’m in my 60’s now. One day discussing what attracts a man to a woman he said initially it’s her hair skin and figure. You still have 2 of them. That summer I went to puppy-sit for a (former) friend and all she could do is talk about my wrinkles. I think of Dr Emoto’s water experiments with emotions and being made up of 40%(?) water, I wonder if absorbing his projections of self hatred along with devaluation gaslighting & rage is what caused them. The difference in my appearance within 2 years is dramatic. Can it be from the toxicity I’ve lived with? Lately in your videos you mentioned these relations are bad for your health. Physically? My hopes are that you read this comment and do a video on this topic. Thank you.

Sean R

1 week ago

Thank you for the great videos Dr. Ramani!

Cindy Oreilly

1 week ago

This has happened to many times to me. I wish Dr. Ramani was available to be my doctor. The videos, content and, books she has put out has been my lifeline. Thank you with all of my heart

Shubhra Pashine

1 week ago

Hello Dr. Ramani, how will be know that we are being led on by a person who we are in a relationship with when they never intended to keep that relationship. How do we know if our marriage was just a marriage of convenience for them.

volcom05345

1 week ago

My father did this to me. Ive always had the potential to do great things. I hit rock bottom abusing alcohol and popping pills. I got out of my funk with the help of some friends. I started working out, stopped drinking alcohol and put myself back into school. I thought my father might say he was proud of me for changing my life around. I really wanted his approval, but instead he ridiculed me and judged me for my past mistakes. I didnt understand at the time but I was determined to stay motivated and on the path to success. After awhile I started noticing patterns on how he talked to me and how little respect or support he showed me. This is how I started doing research and found out that he was a narcissist. Im healing now and his little manipulative tricks dont work on me anymore but man I cant stop thinking of how much of my life and time was taken from me.

Lexy Mish

1 week ago

Dr. Ramani, I am living in a one room hotel room with my extremely narssasistic mother and have been for 2 to 3 years. I don't really want to know how long it's been. I am literally about to break bc I also don't have a car to escape to plus I have several debilitating chronic illnesses. I think if I even had one door to separate us, things would be better. Due to being on disability an apartment has been out of reach for a while. Thanks for your videos bc these videos and my best friend are the ONLY reasons I am still alive. Thank you again.

TerrBear

1 week ago

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU❣ I needed to hear this video today. After 31 years of narcissistic abuse I finally filed for divorce. I don't know what I'm going to do because he has vowed to leave me homeless with 4 dogs and penniless with no alimony. He is a porn addicted Pastor who's been cheating on me for the past 25 years. He knows I will never give up my dogs. I will live in my car with my 4 dogs before I continue one more day with this prick. I know I Will Survive and I know I will thrive!

DoctorRamani

surfshack2

1 week ago

Amazing video Dr. Ramani. Yes destroying you is truly the most heartbreaking result of narcissistic abuse. And the worst horrific nightmare of that is that many wonderful people never come back.

Tessa Yates

1 week ago

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED IN THIS VERY MOMENT

Empath 2020

1 week ago (edited)

I could not wait to watch this video! You are so right. This video touched my heart (and a few tears of truthful understanding!)

My Narc alcoholic husband has stole the last 10 years of my life (I am still STUCK!).He has brainwashed me like a prisoner! He invalidates me daily. He hates the way I walk, the way I eat, the way I dress. I was supposed to take some tests to be promoted. The tests required me to pay for them. I kept waiting to have the "confidence & Money." The confidence, never came he always spent the money on alcohol. Every weekend he damages me so badly, that I stay in bed to avoid him in the mornings. I wait for him to leave for work. Mondays are like a TOXIC hangover. The rumination is unbearable. I can't seem to find the money to leave. We are living hand to mouth. He spends so much money on alcohol (so much I could buy a new car with the money!) COVID closed my job down. Now I feel like a rat in a trap. No choices. I am interviewing but he vascilates btwn "go get a job" and "you need to stay home!" He is psychotic. I can't afford to be attached to this sickness anymore. WE have slept in separate bedrooms for 9 years of the 10 years. He has no interest in sex, just video games & other women.

Jolene David

1 week ago

I’m 20 years in and what you just said described my life exactly. Except now I’m so gone I don’t even know who I am anymore and my goals also got knocked down time and time again . I’m looking to change the next 20. It’s very difficult in my situation overseas. Can’t get out without leaving my oldest child because she will not want to leave with me if I go.

IASMINA IABLONCIC

1 week ago

My mom, brother, former boss, last 4 exes and former flatmate were narcissists.

Literally I was not able to do ANY progress with them in my life!

Now I finally start to realise who I am and what I can actually do, by myself, without any “help” from them.

kathykat86

1 week ago

thank you for helping me,,,my mother was my abuser , thank you for helping me understand...you have helped me save my life

Amy Breton

1 week ago

Dr. Ramani, I’m confused, idk if any of my parents were narcissist. I’ve seen many videos about this topic. When YouTube was not a thing yet, I bought books on how to break codependency. I was struggling to leave an ex who I didn’t love anymore. I lost myself more than once in similar relationships. My mother was always affectionate yet she was absent and would never listen to my pains (I’m not neurotypical) My dad was really quiet but hurt me with words sometimes. He would say things like: “why getting good grades if you’re not gonna be somebody “ or when I asked for help to change oil (at 13) for a motorcycle, my dad said: “why do you act like an idiot?” It was my first time doing it. I can’t see them as bad people. I just think they don’t know better.

Outlaws 4 Justice

1 week ago

I’m fighting for my four year old daughter to get freed from a abuser who has committed crimes and has been aided by family in law enforcement and a judge who denied her DNA testing. He forged my signature on a acknowledgment of paternity affidavit with another family member notarizing the document giving him rights to her. It’s a horrible place to be and my three boys and I miss her so much.

Jo C4255

1 week ago

I gave up my horses. They’ve always been a big part of my life, they made me the person I am. I still have them, but it’s been a fight. I supported him in everything he wanted to do, but he wouldn’t allow me the time to ride. Everything was about what he wanted to do. He likes to say he supported my riding, but when he would never be around to watch our kids so I could get out to the barn. He was always off doing what he wanted to do. I think that is a big part of my anxiety and depression. Horses were/are my outlet, my “high”. I gave up my business to support him in his career. We moved out of state for it. I gave up very close friends. When they heard about the divorce, they made it very clear they wanted me back home so they could help me heal. So I’m going back home, finding a project horse to train and show, losing the excess weight (I gained a lot from the depression), and starting a new business. Screw him.

ze ro

1 week ago

I think I'm married to a narcissist. We have been married for 18 years. When I was young and did everything cook clean raise the kids cut grass take out trash. No job was ever done to his standards. I was nagged into separating myself from all my family and friends. And he still managed to make me feel selfish for talking to neighbors or anyone. Because my focus was supposed to be on my family. As I got older I began to break myself away from that and get a job. He became more merciless with the insults how I was stupid how I was neglecting my family and not honoring my vows. I feel emotionally numb most of the time. This Fourth of July I think I've had enough. It was so simple I just wanted to make an old-style ham and beans over the fire. he knew for 2 weeks that this was my plans for the big family bbq. He told me what a stupid idea it was the whole time and how nobody wanted to eat my beans. The day of the BBQ he knew I had to leave and be at his aunts house at a certain time for the beans to be done in time. He made sure to delay me an hour and a half. Needless to say the beans didn't get done till after everyone was already done eating everything else. So no one ate beans. For 2 days now after he keeps reminding me how stupid I was and how everybody was talking about me and my stupid at the party. And I should just listen to him next time and I wouldn't make such stupid mistakes.

Am I being silly should should I be mad or should I let it go I don't know what to do. We have three kids 11 and twin 5 year olds. I have been married to him most of my adult life.

DJ Crackademiks

1 week ago

I was in a relationship for 3 year with a narcissist who kept telling me she was getting a divorce. I found out later she was delaying the divorce because her husband kept getting bonuses at his job and she said she deserved the money too 😂

Here’s my story: I have a good degree from a good school and whenever we would be out at a party or just talking to people it would come up (It’s a big football school) she would roll her eyes. Now looking back I could see it. But I lived in the Bay Area at the time and I would come back from interviews with big names in Silicon Valley and looking back I could see she was rooting against me. She would say things like, “You’ve never done project management before, what makes you think you can do that?”... And I believed her, because I loved her. Fast forward to 4 years after the relationship: I own 2 successful businesses and I work with some of the top athletes in the world and I’ve helped some of them build non-profits.

I learned from you and other NARC educators that she was just speaking of a place of insecurity and projection. I haven’t spoken to her in 4 years and never will. I did grow immensely from that relationship and I wouldn’t change that for anything. The growth and inner work were needed.

Linda bachmann

1 week ago

I wasted 35 years of my life with a narcissistic psychopath. He abused me in every way there is. I wanted to become a nurse but was not allowed because it would interfere with what he was doing. One of his favourite insults to me was that I didn’t have the brains god gave a large dog the list goes on and gets worse. He finally had a stroke and my son and grandson escaped to another city. It’s been 3 years no contact I have a good job and things are peaceful at last. One day I hope that he will stop invading my thoughts.

Pamela Storch

1 week ago

I felt like this message was like an angel speaking to me. I was a child prodigy, receiving music in dreams since I was 7 years old. I was given piano lessons, where my abusers socialized with the piano teacher the whole lesson, and I was never allowed to play piano and lived with unthinkable abuse. When a family friend saw my talent and suggested I go to Juilliard and learn with the teachers there, my abusers got angry and stopped my piano lessons. As an adult, I went out of country on a 2 week trip, and never returned. From a different country, I composed 10 music albums, all of which are now on iTunes, Spotify, Amazon and music platforms worldwide. I have an online art gallery with over 300 works, and poetry on my website which I am in the process of making into a book. After 7 years out of country, I came back to the US and it is amazing how my abusers continue to bring me down and tell me the success I already had in that short period of time, is “delusions of grandeur” and how putting my music on iTunes is “a vanity publication”. My newest song that is coming out soon hopefully, is called “Phoenix Rising”. The lyrics are on my website. But it goes like this: How many morrows of the setting sun, before my heart can heal, how many sorrows of this world, enchanted, surreal. I will return again to this place, where I have been before, I return now with strength, I walk through the door. I will see a man of white, I will see through his soul, I will see what he’s done, charged the rivers a toll. Though his bridge may be there, over waters of black, water’s ink takes his side, water’s dream may attack. Now with strength I will see that it happens no more, I will take back my power, I will unleash my core, I am free, I am sovereign I stand by my side, I will be with myself and I stand here with pride. Never more will I stand for lots taken on me, I resume my own life, I am sovereign and free. Like a bird to the wind, do I rise and I fly, like a phoenix from ashes I soar through the sky. Like a phoenix from ashes I soar through the sky. - Pamela Storch

Miriam Ramsey

1 week ago

I had to finely move on for ones an for good.

As not going to let him take away my soal, I did give up for few months, had to wake up because it's my life. An I will continue on with my counselling career an would love to make it as a Doctor

S T

1 week ago

This is the most motivating talk I have heard about moving forward and I’ve heard hundreds.. “Surviving narcissism is a super power”. I have never viewed It this way, never given myself permission to claim this important truth. But, starting today, I will. This is an essential mindset that I need to grasp, hold onto tightly, to fully thrive. This makes me cry, but they are tears of joy over what I have accomplished. Thank you!

امنة شلال احمد

1 week ago

Thank you my narcissist sister for I am grown because of you. My feeling toward you is more of pity than contempt. I pity you because I believe that your potentialities are limitless. I have set boundaries between me and my sister following my instinct and judgment even before I no the concept of a "narcissist" . Although many told me to give her a chance, I with guilt did not give her any more chance. I set boundaries because I am humiliated and I have noticed the cycle of that ends discarding me many many times. I was able to see the pattern that ends with discarding a person who has just felt he is close. Thanks God for this gift. I am now strong, I am courage, I have believe in others and in myself. I have the life opened before me. I am now an MA student of language and linguistics and following my passion in Art leading a project for training people.

The_Islanda

1 week ago

I was lucky to meet my partner who always encourages me to follow my dreams, no matter what! I was born and raised by a narcissist mother and I treated my partner exactly as my mother treated us and my father. In other words, I was somewhat a narcissist or product of that household. My partner, who is a strong, kind and a sensible individual, never put up to my bulls***t behavior subsequently I was forced to question my attitude and came to a conclusion that I was insecure and manipulative and needed to change in order to have a healthy relationship with my partner. I excelled in everything. Every time I go back home, my family freezes me out except my father. My mother, sister and brother know that they don’t have any hook on me, but they refuse to talk or spend sometime with me. I have no idea what to do! Regardless what I do, my sister and my mom are never satisfied and I’ve concluded that they never will be! The solution is to just - move on

Eva Hajo

1 week ago

Survival is a super power.a very inspiring video. I love how Dr ramani is our support. Love

Andrew Mass

1 week ago

Exceptional video. My father was covert narcissist alcoholic, so I had hopelessness and depression as a result. I was married to another covert narcissist for 16 years and I was again hopeless and depressed. I was verbally abused and gaslighted. I did gave up my dreams. I am 56 now. I starting over. It is very odd I know, but I always wanted to me a professional actor. I was one for 10 years when I was younger. I did 10 plays last year and then Covid hit. I am thinking about moving back to LA. I have struggled to find good work in the state that I moved to. I wonder if I can make it with LA rents. I am more trained in film acting. I need to move to a state that has more film acting but Covid is going on now. I am now single. I have no children.

Marija N

1 week ago (edited)

Yeees, they did. That's why I am so determined saying, let it go, leave etc. It is very destructive. Makes you doubt your soul. :( and I know we cannot leave often and it is there, so all these videos are blessings, help us learn, help us strengthen. And oh, I think that dreams are the first thing that is destroyed... we often end up just protecting ourselves from hate, control, disrespect, devaluation, gaslighting and not thinking about dreams at all.... oh that makes me sad and angry... so, if you want to come back to your dreams, go and end abuse! LOVE YOU ALL.

Noel Hoffmann

1 week ago

How wonderful you are Dr. Ramani. You hit the nail on the head if the very thing I hate more than anything. I moved to SC and see this abuse everywhere. It's an epidemic here. Thank you!!!

Thank you for your compassion and encouragement Dr. Ramani 🥺 I have been "clean" from narcissists (dad, grandfathers, sister, ex boyfriends) for going on six months. I'm 27. My dad has himself said he has antisocial personality disorder. I have experienced every kind of abuse and still I REFUSE to give up on my dreams. I am more determined than ever to make the world a better place and to share my gifts! Life is a gift. It took me walking away from the shadows to see the light in life, which was so hard it left me emotionally bloody. But every day I heal a little more.

I've been dating and am able to spot a covert narcissist within 2 dates. In the past I would have replaced my passion projects with a person project at the first opportunity. I finally found a therapist who understands narcissist abuse. My life is whole. I managed to crawl from the rubble and have built a wonderful home for myself, including a computer so I can start my business. At 27 I feel like I have finally graduated from the school of independence, and despite the sacrifices and pain, I am strong.

Your videos serve as a daily reminder not to look back. Thank you for picking me up when I fall. I will keep moving forward no matter what. ❤️

Joel Henry

1 week ago

Please do a video on overprotective and controlling mothers.

Bold Broadcasting Channel

1 week ago

Dr. I love your messages! The world is truly blessed that you had the strength to not allow a narcissist’s abuse to stop you from creating this channel. The world is a better place because of your messages. Thank you 🙏🏾 and take care 💜

Guitar Fixation

1 week ago

When my ex-narcissist realized I was pursuing my Master of Science degree in Nursing Education, he told me that nursing education was “the bottom of the barrel of nursing” and that “those who can’t do, teach.” He never supported my dreams, aspirations, or goals. He would become angry or distant whenever I discussed school, so I stopped talking about it. Everything became a competition, and he slowly attacked my skills and abilities as a nurse. This lead to him attacking every fiber of my being. I began doubting myself to an extreme. I cried every day. He slowly chiseled away until I had forgotten all my hobbies, was embarrassed of my talents, and withdrew from everyone. I felt I had to be different to gain his approval, but could never find the right way to become the right kind of different. I remember realizing I probably shouldn’t even invite him to the graduation if I made it. I had a feeling he would not have even come. I had no idea I was in a narcissistic relationship. Your videos have helped me more than you will ever know, Dr. Ramani. Please keep doing everything that you do! I left him, and I graduated with my Master’s in Nursing Education last December. I have advanced my career and work in telemetry and Step-Down. I have dreams of working in ICU. I precept new nurses and experienced nurses. I train nursing students. And not to mention all of the patients I continue to care for. Every day I use my life, experience, and skills to save the lives of others. Healing is a journey, and I have not yet reached the destination, but I believe there is purpose in our battles. To whoever is reading this, please never give up on yourselves. I believe in you, and so do so many others!

Emily Williamson

1 week ago

My life was absolutely decimated by a narcissist.. he was 10 years younger and basically used me and the clout I had, the strength I’d built, the comfort of my wisdom and maternal qualities... but also was threatened by it and tore me down, ditching me when he’d taken what he could and had destroyed me. I had so much going for me and was at a prime position to take off into a successful future, But instead he dragged me down and pushed me over the edge. His life benefited, everything in my life and my daughters life suffered. No one could see him doing it, and his incessant religious babble is especially disgusting because it is so far from the truth of who he is yet so many people eat it up. And now he has a new better girlfriend who is younger and hotter, who I helped him have access to because of my support… And the two of them together are practically taunting my pain and destruction. As I try to pick up the pieces and move on, now all I want is a simple life where I’m just functional, I’ve given up on my previous dreams that I was so close to achieving. There is no hope of getting them back.

Meg

1 week ago

I am realizing my partner may be a narcissist. I’ve lost jobs over him making me late, or by my sense of self being disintegrated until I couldn’t do my job at all anymore. Finally in the last 6 months I have two jobs I am excelling at and I’m loving it. The taste of freedom and self control has been so wonderful. I don’t know how to set the boundaries or leave if that’s the best choice, but for now I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

The beginning of the relationship (5 years ago) I always believed every excuse. He was tired, stressed, over worked, etc. no, it’s just how he is. I wonder if he can learn how to cope with his feelings but I can’t be the one to teach him. He needs to learn for himself.

Michelle Gimbert

1 week ago

Too late Dr Ramani, 20 years too late. My mother had me diagnosed with a mental illness when i was 32 and i had 2 beautiful children to look after while i was being drugged. Now i wont talk to my Mum about my illness and she hates it, the ex nurse in her Hates it. She will no longer derive fun or pleasure from seeing me suffer. She will no longer feel important to my doctors ever again. She will not be in control of my money and i will not have her as my next of kin. She has controlled me for way too long and now she is hoping i will look after her in her old age, well im not my smart sister can do that, i think i will use my mental illness as an excuse not to look after her! dont think im heartless, she stole my youth, my sanity,my career, my money and most of all my children lives. You see my mum is the covert narcissist, so anything i say about her to the family is not believed. She told everyone i would kill myself, so no-one says anything to me at all about my illness. This way no will ask what part she played. I tried to talk to my sister but she was offended that i blamed our Mum and yelled at me and kicked me out of her house, so my whole family is brainwashed by her. What can i do?

ALL THINGS GIGI-PLAYWRIGHT DESIGNER PHOTOGRAPHY

1 week ago (edited)

I never understood what this was that had me bound and gagged all my life until about 4 years ago. All I know is she found every way she could to tear me down from the moment I entered the world. She told people as I stood and listened as a little girl, that I was the ugliest thing she had ever seen when I came out the womb. That stuck with me. Very damaging. Growing up with her was torment. My whole life was restricted. But, I persevered in spite of. I didn't have a dad to protect me. He died 5 months before my birth. I was at the top of my class never missing a day because I loved school.. But too, to be away from her everyday. I had 5 year perfect attendance award from grades 7-12. Never gave her any problems. A stellar student. I still have not taken a drink of alcohol or smoked anything in my 52 years. Drug free! I should be crazy or a crackhead! I consider myself a miracle. In 1986, I received an academic scholarship to attend Dillard University in New Orleans. And she stripped me of that! Wouldn't let me go. I was devastated. It set me back. And I don't think I've ever recovered. I did go to college about 25 minutes from home. But, she told everybody I only chose to go there because of a boy I liked when actually it was because my childhood mentor and friend graduated from there years prior. She inspired me to choose her major, fashion merchandising. But, my mom was never interested in what inspired me or what I liked. She only made her presumptuous conclusions which resulted in lies. It was a struggle for me there. I had some good days. I lived on campus and never went home until I had to. When everyone went home to their families, I stayed in my dorm room alone only to come out to eat. I was in a deep depression. At least I didn't lose my appetite! Never understood why until now, actually as I type this, why I was so low in spirit. I cried in class. Eventually, I dropped out. I had my daughter at 20. That didn't stop me. I made an attempt to go back and finish living on campus in family housing with her as a single mom. But, I was sick and stressed from school. So, I gave it up again. I eventually moved to NY to get away from MS. And then graduated from a local NY college. My mom made the 24 hr train ride. And on graduation day, she insulted my accomplishments by saying I thought this was a big school meaning a large university. She never attended college. Years later, I moved to NC where I was determined to finish where I left off at my MS college. I transferred my credits and got my BA degree in Business. I had to complete the last few courses online because I was sick again. I returned to MS with my son. Once again, she insulted me in front of family by minimizing my online classes implying they were meaningless.. It's been over 30 years. And here I am. I have made a full circle stuck bàck in MS. I have written 2 plays. I have done gospel tours. Even though I received my degree. Doesn't mean much here. There's Still that void of being robbed of my opportunity to attend Dillard. I recently completed 2 years of AmeriCorps service surviving off a monthly stipend with a son now in college. Soon I will receive my 2nd Segal award scholarship from the program for my volunteer service. And it is now my desire to get my masters from Dillard University where I was suppose to attend in 1986 to complete my mission. I don't know if these 2 scholarships will even cover the cost of tuition. But, it would certainly give me the feeling of satisfaction to show her she didn't win. Understanding now what I have endured and why, I have learned how to block the blows that a narcissist mother still throws at me. It's now ineffective.. And she doesn't know what hit her when it bounces back in her face and shuts her down. My kids ask me how is it so easy for me to like her. I tell them it's out of respect. I do alot for her. Although, she discredits me. But, I just carry on. Sometimes I do have to catch myself. My kids despise her and avoid her. Even with her illness, she's the same or worse than 40 years ago. She screams dementia now. But, her mind is sharp and so is her tongue. I have also not been in a relationship in probably 20 years for whatever reason. I attribute it to God's hedge of protection. But I have found myself attracted to men who turn out to be narcissists. I now recognize the character traits once the nurturing caring facade comes down and the gaslighting starts. I get ghosted a lot with no explanation and they sometimes reappear. The very few guys that have pretended to spark an interest. Thank God for wisdom and insight. They are drawn to people like me who are nurturers. But, I think they know I see thru the smoke screen. I've been told that I'm so wonderful and amazing. But, they will never commit to a relationship with me. I'm up on their manipulation game. So, they run. It's very toxic for sure. This video was the truth! Thank you Dr!!!

Aniko Love

1 week ago

Past life and Shadow work integration and balancing of karma. It is childhood conditioning. If they go we might attract someone the same... Unless we evolve through healing.. Karma is spiral repeated until learned... ✨💖🌺✨

Divine Protection Guidance Blessings and prayers for everyone.

Yes, we must find our power within..... then build and protect our inner circle......

✨✨✨🧘🏻‍♀️✨✨✨

Andrew Mulligan

1 week ago

Everything started working for me when I left the relationship . I got out with my life back .

Geraldine Smith

1 week ago

Feeling so trapped today and this video has given me hope.thankyou Dr.Ramani

Colleen Johnson

1 week ago

Prayed that he would have a job in which he is gone most of the time. He got a job as a long haul trucker and I see him about once every six weeks.

I P

1 week ago

They all abuse me viciously. Help me.

DJ Hosler

1 week ago (edited)

Finally breaking free after 30 years of confusing insanity with gas lighting, stonewalling and being basically told I was the wicked witch of the East because I started setting boundaries. I got good counseling. Now pushing 60 I thank God I am escaping with my own business. Finally got him to sign separation papers and looking for a place of my own. Thanks to you and my wonderful counselor. I’m very thankful I survived with some sanity left. Would love to help others so they don’t waste 30 years like I did. Half my life wasted on hope that he would change. And he’s a “Christian “. This narcissistic poison is raging rampant in the older types of churches. Would love to write a book to help others watch out for those “Christians” that are wearing that proverbial mask. Thank you so much Dr.

Sarah

1 week ago

Thank you this was so real

Monique Jackson

1 week ago

Just when I start to think your videos couldn't get any better, you introduce what I believe to be THE most important conversation to have about Narcissistic Abuse. I was in a Facebook support group recently where a woman posted she was staying in a Narcissistic relationship because she wanted her kids to have a role model. My heart sank because I couldn't find the words to describe that she either didn't understand how destructive Narcs are, or she was still in extreme denial. This is the video I would have linked her to, and still will if I can find that post. It's not Life that holds us back. The purpose of Life is to Thrive and be the best version of ourselves. It's the Narcissists among us, and there are a significant number of them, that sabotage us and hold us back because they can't handle our success in any area. There are no words to express my gratitude for this important work you are doing. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!

Miriam Ramsey

1 week ago

Thank you Dr.Ramani this video is the best . I love what you do.

Maddy Grayson

1 week ago (edited)

This one made me cry. I am 50. I just finally went no contact with the whole family. Narc father who abandoned me. Narc mother who made selfish decisions rendering me alone all the time (no siblings), and when she was there it was like walking on egg shells. When I was 19 I started taking film classes at Columbia in Chicago. I absolutely loved it. When it came time to pay or handle loans, etc, I had no idea what to do and the school was small then so they had no one to help me there. I asked my mother to help. She had gone to night school for 10 years while working full time to get her undergrad and become a lawyer. Hence, her absence. She said, "NO ONE HELPED ME TO FIGURE IT OUT." and that was it. I felt like shit on a shoe. I felt overwhelmed by it all, this was 1990, no Internet, just enormous books and instead of her guiding me through it as essentially a child wanting to be something, she spoke to me like a stranger. It was awful. So I never went. I gave up. She never asked me about it. She pretended not to recall that, of course. Welcome to life with my mother. Whenever I hear parents talking about sending their kids to school and seeing how much most parents do to help them, I want to cry. Once, I did, at work, and had to run to the restroom. This video, really makes me remember why no contact is not only the right thing to do, it is the only self loving thing to do. No idea where to go with it now though.

I P

1 week ago

I need people like you in my life Dr Ramani. I already fleed but was attacked daily in the refuge and was even more endangered in the dirty council flat they dumped me in then I ended up back here in this shithole which is by far so much mmbetter than the places I went to when temporarily escaped but I'm not OK not happy not coping at all. I need major help though. I am a British born Indian still living in this craphole in England with my abusive disabled Indian parents and have no support.

S. Martinez

1 week ago (edited)

Dear Dr. Ramani, many thanks for all your supportive video's. Very helpful. Thanks to many documentation I could study and all these supportive video's from you and other sources, I finally got the answers to many questions I had: why does a person act that way for example. In the case of my father (during my childhood, youth and some years ago until he died), I discovered via his behavior patterns he was a first class narcissist. Nowadays, my partner (also mother of our 6 year old daughter) has been showing behavior patterns that correspond very much with someone who has NPD. Now I do recognize very well e.g. the gaslighting, blame shifting, the flying monkeys, how you need to behave, lack of empathy, etc etc. To make a long story short, I can say yes: they tried to discourage me from doing things and progressing but the best advice I can give to everyone and "excuse me my French": Just don't give a shit of what they say to you! That helped, as: I finished my career, have a nice job, bought a nice house (and put it under ONLY my name so that she can't take it away), and if the narcissist would tell you something like "Don't do that, you're not capable", or whatever, then go against the current and do what you were planning to do before. Of course you can have doubts, and might be scared for the unknown, but consider for yourself all the pros and cons, and go for it. Don't do it for others: do it for yourself and believe me: that will freak out the narcissist, that will be your best "revenge"! Good luck everyone, I know it's difficult, I know exactly what it is. If someone wants to get in touch with me, let me know.

Hildebeast Clinton

1 week ago

One could try all day - you can’t distinguish between the narcissist and the vampire. They operate in darkness and steal your life blood.

Karin Jensen

6 days ago

Lost my PhD in psycholgy work me etc

Leah C

6 days ago (edited)

Yes.

YES!

YESS!!

Joaquin Gonzalez

1 week ago (edited)

I was a senior in college majoring in psychology. He manipulated me and lied all the time. When I had proof he was lying he would fake a panic attack. I would wait until his supposed panic attack was over then confront him. He told me I did not know how to interact with people who had anxiety. He crashed my car, held me at gunpoint, poisoned our dog. He slowly took me from my family and friends.

When I left I felt like I was dying. I couldn't trust myself anymore. I went to therapy for 6 months to build myself back up again. (I still am going to therapy). I got an awesome job at a nonprofit mental health clinic and worked there for two years. I learned a lot about myself and had a lot of love to give after being in such a hateful friendship/relationship.

I applied to grad school after working for two years, nearly 60 hours a week. I'm done with my first year and I have 2 more to go. I'm happy and I know how to spot people like him out. I'm glad I'm healthy and no longer have him in my life.

Thank you for your videos.

Mia Bennett

1 week ago (edited)

My mother used to paint. She was talented in many creative ways, so logically a daughter wants to do something like her mom, so they can bond. I never realised as a child she was stopping me from discovering my creativity, until she went through my stuff and threw away my paintings (the best ones I’ve ever done, that made me really proud) in the bin, with all the kitchen garbage so it was all wet and destroyed. I was so confused. It was the only thing she threw out while I was at school.

Kavita Sewnath

1 week ago

I'm still crying... It's like you're narrating my story. I moved from South America to Europe for that asshole. I left my study in my own country to pursue a different one in Amsterdam. And when I got my first diploma for finishing the first year with succes, he invalidated and diminished the whole study I did (a study he himself recommend when I was in the midst of doing the whole moving application). I always loved to create art, but couldn't do it anymore when I lived with him because of a lack of time and lack of confidence because he never noticed my paintings. But he did brag about and complimented one of his 'girlfriends' digital art so much it hurt😧. And this is just the tip of the iceberg of how that monster broke my heart, mind, spirit and will power to do anything anymore. After 3 long and suffering years I left him for good, moved back to my warm and loving tropical Suriname 🇸🇷♥️🙌🏽 and now I am an actual artist who sells her paintings and makes a living out of something I absolutely looooveee to do! ✨ It took me a while to be confident, also because I have narcissistic parents 😨😰😵 (does it ever stop?). This I of course realized when I returned from Amsterdam with the knowledge of narcissism and as I lived with my parents again, I started to see symptoms after symptoms which both my parents displayed and I then dove into the narcissistic well completely to find the roots of my lack of confidence, my lack of self-love, the reason why I tolerated so much bullshit of that asshole and so much more. It's because of my whole existence. My parents brought me up with so much toxicity and invalidation that I never thought I deserved any kind of love or respect. After years of confronting, explaining, fighting, showing evidence, patterns, consequences etc to them they finally are a bit calm and less toxic to me. Of course in the mean time I also realized that I can't rely on their validation, love, acceptance and encouragement so I've built my own shield and now I trust, love, validate, accept and encourage myself to do whatever I want to do. And Doctor Ramani has helped me tremendously in this journey. I literally see you as my mother figure who understands, validates, teaches, explains and knows in details what I've personally gone through and this gives me some solace, peace of mind and heart and calms the storms within. At least someone understands. And I am so happy to have found you Doc. Thank you for being here and being the amazing you! I love you ♥️✨

Liz W

1 week ago

Both of my parents, and other relatives, are narcs. And possibly BPD or sociopathic. They were physically, emotionally, verbally, and psychologically abusive and it took a decade of recovery for me to be (mostly) free of CPTSD. The father was a rageaholic womanizer who would turn into someone completely different when he wanted to impress someone. The mother was a manipulative monster who faked cancer for a year and a half. I've been single for the last 12 years cuz I don't feel confident in choosing a healthy guy, YET. But cutting them out of my life has been the best decision I've made! I'm more successful, happier, healthier, am surrounded w better people etc. You can do it, too.

carl soetewey

18 hours ago

people bringing down other people....I'm effraid this is the history of humanity.

sfu nyc

1 week ago

Unfortunately I can't get away from the rumination. It has such a hold on me.

Vince

1 week ago

I guess 64 narcissists, and psychopathic narcissists found this video and wanted to try and discredit her. Oh well, Dr. Ramani understands her profession and I am a personal example of her advice. I am married to a covert narcissist and what she says about narcissists fits my wife's behavior.

Carol B

1 week ago

‘Super power’ indeed!

Caring for my ailing father presently - Something I would never have been able to do had I not left the narcissist.

I’m still picking up the pieces - it’s a process.

The knowledge insight resilience growth gained, priceless.

I’m headed towards a peaceful joyful life - a work in progress (with clear undeterred goals)

One step, and day, at a time.

Ruth I Sanabria

1 week ago

Thank you, Dr. Ramani.

A BC

5 days ago

Listening to this video felt like a gut punch

Rayann F. Ortega de Muhammad

1 week ago

Dr. Ramani when I meet my narcissistic husband his finances were not organized. He just hand the tax lady all paper work with out knowing monthly budget. He had credit card debt that he didn't know the true amount that he owed. He has two apartment that he rent, there was no rules and regulations, the peoplewhere free to do what they want to do. When we got married he gave me the house to me in dowry, the Iman ask him two time if was sure and he said yes. He told me go to school, I became a house wife.. After we where married I started to put the finance in order. I also found out how much he own on his credit card debt, it was not 15,000 he own close to 60,000 and I help him payed off 6 card to bring down to 20,000 in credit card debt. He would tell me I don't know budget, I would tell him your lying you do know the budget that even are taxes lady know our budget. I put down rules and regulations for our apartments and put things in order in are rental property. Then 2018 he put his name on my checking for we all ready had a saving together I thought ok he can move everything that come to payment and paycheck to our account together. That didn't happen, I was already in medical debt because of the insurance he got me was temporary for he told me that it was a health insurance plan that I was full coverage. I found out it was a lie. I got my own health insurance for 2018 and started to make payments on medical debt I had. I found out that I was married to narcissistic. I started to study up narcissism. By 2019 he put my name on his checking, I was going close our other checking he said no. I know it was ok for everything we worked together for 7 years we were going somewhere financially and financially thing where in order for better future for us. In October he Destroyed it all he secretly open up checking accounts started to move our finance to his new checking accounts without me knowing. The bank advice me to get my own private account so that I can pay off my my bills. Then this year he take out a large amount of money from our saving and put it in a private savings with out me knowing. I found out he has another account with another back. I was upset. He stop giving me money, he stop putting money in our checking account with my name first. He only put money in the checking account with his name first. That when financial abuse entered the door. I was devastated upset I even started to go to therapy. With therapy and me doing my own investigation I unraveled so much truth to this narcissistic husband of mine. I'm 3rd wife, 1st wife he ask to leave the home after 8 year because he hit her with a phone. He take way there daughter's by making share 1st wife didn't receive the court date to appear in court. In the end he won custodian of his daughters in the divorce. His oldest daughters said he kept them away from their mother for 2 years. I have spoken to both daughters, Dr. Romani his daughter and X are scared of him for like his young daughter said my dad can take person life and walk away with no care. He 2nd wife after 3 years of married had enough. I learned that at the time with his 2nd wife he just got out of truck driving school which he just starting out been a truck driver and during their divorce he bought the house we were living in so you can say in reality he took her money and made it his own. She couldn't do anything because they where married. That's why there last arguing together was about the money disappearing from their account together. Why she change the locked on there house is become in one of his rages he tried to attack her. I learned in therapy that he repeated the games he play by becoming good at it ( I learned it call criminal trade). He repeat his stories over and over, makes up stories, he takes bits and pieces of conversations that he has with people in his life make it in to a story and puts in way that he wants the story to be told so that he can be the victime or they sorry for for him. He likes to take credit for other person achievements by saying they could not do it with out him, that way stop going to school. Dr. Ramani not in my life would I believe that narcissistic person could bring chaos to one life, let alone want to destroy that person's life.

vinlpaul3

1 week ago

Future faking. But found a job thankfully related to my field. Don't wanna comment too much bc school associated account. Thank you, Dr. Ramani.

Fanny Legrand

1 week ago

It finally clicked listening to you. It’s not like I didn’t know, but today I really got it. You said it the way I needed to hear. She couldn’t stand the idea I could share my work in a specific meeting, she was insecured. Confusing mess. I lost confidence in myself, kept giving up something w/o knowing what I was giving up, it was my aspirations!!!! Never clip my wings again for anyone, I promesse. Thank you <3

phabelha

1 week ago

I lost my light and lightness

Joan Lindsay

4 days ago

Tough video to watch because of the truth in it. Take courage and make it your own.

Ideal City Living - ICL, GTV

Saturday 18 July 2020

Narcissistic Personality Disorder 6

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