Same expectation level with blinking stars vs barking dogs; rickshaw, taxi, motorcycle ride vs Mercedes, Rolls-Royce ride; used car, cell phone purchased from friend's shop vs from an unknown's shop.
Dealing in the same way with abusive vs respectful, wise vs stupid, scholar vs illiterate is like fish climbing the tree.
How To Deal Negative People Urdu | How To Stay Positive With Negative People By Atif Yousaf
People who make you unhappy are many.
Expectation Level:
When we buy a defected item (used mobile) from a known person (high priced too), we get hurt more. Expectations make us unhappy, not the things.
Learn to deal with people as per their capability.
Rickshaw and Mercedez are not same in ride.
Same is case of dealing with wise and stupid, abusive or aggressive and healthy or controlling.
You have to expect differently with blinking star and barking dogs. When barking dogs are on the way, change your route.
Albert Einstein wrote, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
Look at Positive Side:
[See the bad inside yourself, and see the good inside others. Imam Ali AS
One day Jesus and his disciples were walking in the old city, which had very narrow streets. They came across the carcass (the dead body of an animal) of a dead dog. The dog had been dead for a long time, and its rotten stench (a strong and very unpleasant smell) filled the whole alley (backstreet). The disciples of Jesus held their noses, picked up the hem of their robes, and tiptoed around the dead creature. One of them said: “Whew ... piff! What a horrible stench!” Another one said: “The very sight of this makes me sick to my stomach.” One by one they made their way past the dead creature, even as others in town gathered around the carcass to further remark on its hideousness (ugly).
Jesus, and Jesus alone, stopped by the dead dog. He knelt down, and lovingly gazed at the dog. After a long pause, he finally said: “Praise be to God, what beautiful teeth this creature has.”]
We have both negative and positive people in our life. All people have positive side and negative side. We have to understand that where we can fit ourselves for our happiness. You have control of you. Turn off negative side. Changing self is only way.
['Yesterday I was clever and tried to change the world. Today I am wise and try to change myself.' Rumi]
[Welcome to positive people and focus only on positive people. The positivity principle of 'what you focus on, grows” states that the topics or subjects we choose to put our attention to, or study, are fateful in the sense that they not only determine what we learn as we focus on them, but they actually create it, they grow it.]
[In car driving training, it is told that your car goes where you put your eyes at glance.]
[Focusing on negative thoughts may lead to decreased motivation as well as greater feelings of helplessness. This type of critical inner dialogue has even been linked to depression, so it's definitely something to fix. Those who find themselves frequently engaging in negative self-talk tend to be more stressed.]
[Khuda ne aaj tak us qaum ki haalat nahi badli Na ho jis ko khayal aap apni halat k badalne ka.
Ar-Ra'd (The Thunder) 13:11
لَهُ مُعَقِّبَاتٌ مِّن بَيْنِ يَدَيْهِ وَمِنْ خَلْفِهِ يَحْفَظُونَهُ مِنْ أَمْرِ اللّهِ إِنَّ اللّهَ لاَ يُغَيِّرُ مَا بِقَوْمٍ حَتَّى يُغَيِّرُواْ مَا بِأَنْفُسِهِمْ وَإِذَا أَرَادَ اللّهُ بِقَوْمٍ سُوءًا فَلاَ مَرَدَّ لَهُ وَمَا لَهُم مِّن دُونِهِ مِن وَالٍ
[thinking that] he has hosts of helpers-both such as can be perceived by him and such as are hidden from him that could preserve him from whatever God may have willed. Verily, God does not change men's condition unless they change their inner selves; and when God wills people to suffer evil [in consequence of their . own evil deeds], there is none who could avert it: for they have none who could protect them from Him.]
Add Some Value:
Add value when and where is unavoidable. Pay more attention. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Creator has the greatest authority and is the greatest power. Light shines in darkness; and the darkness cannot overcome it!
No amount of darkness can overcome even the tiniest light.
[Al-Qadr (The Night of Decree) 97:3
لَيْلَةُ الْقَدْرِ خَيْرٌ مِّنْ أَلْفِ شَهْرٍ
The Night of Destiny is better than a thousand months.
Maymun b. Mihran narrated ‘I was once sitting in the presence of al-Hasan b. Ali (AS) when a man came to him, saying, ‘O son of the Prophet of Allah, verily x is claiming money from me that I owe him and wants to arrest me.’ So he replied, ‘By Allah, I do not have money to pay your debt on your behalf.’ So he asked, ‘Then talk to him.’ So he (AS) put on his sandals, whereupon I asked him, ‘O son
of the Prophet of Allah, have you forgotten the fact that you are in a state of retreat’ So he replied, ‘No, I have not forgotten, but I have heard my father (SAWA) narrating on the authority of my grandfather, the Prophet of Allah (AS) that he had said, ‘He who strives to fulfil a fellow Muslim brother’ s need is as if he has worshipped Allah, Mighty and Exalted, for nine thousand years, fasting during the day and standing in prayer at night.’]
[The Meccans too had been aroused against Umayyad. Abdullah bin Zubayr, who had long yearned to secure the office of caliph for himself, considered it an opportune moment to advance his interest. He delivered a forcible speech, decrying the inconstancy of the Kufans, and paying rich tributes to Imam Hussain. The Meccans became alienated from Yazid and agreed to pledge their allegiance to Abdullah bin Zubayr. After the savage massacre and ravage of Medina, Yazid's commander, Muslim bin Aqba advanced on Mecca as ordered by Yazid. On his way to Mecca in 64/683, he was picked up by death. Before his death, he had made Haseen bin Namir the head of the army. Thus, Haseen invaded Mecca and laid siege to the Kaba. Tabari writes that, "Not only stones but also live wood were catapulted at Kaba which caught fire." This was Yazid's last operation after which he died in 64/683.
As soon as Yazid died, the people of Mecca rose once again, and began to hunt the Umayyad soldiers in the city. Thus, it was difficult for Haseen bin Namir and his forces to move from Mecca to Syria. They started their journey from Mecca in secret, and meanwhile they felt acute need of fodder for their horses. Tabari writes that when Imam Zayn al-Abidin knew the difficulties of the Umayyad forces, he came down from Medina with grass and foods and rescued them from starvation. Haseen bin Namir was highly touched with the generosity of the Imam, and offered him to accept the caliphate of Damascus with his all supports. Imam Zayn al-Abidin did not answer him, and went away after casting a smile.]
["Overlook and forgive the weakness of generous people, because if they fall down, Allah gives his hand in their hands and helps them…." Imam Ali (AS).]
[The Old Woman Who Threw Rubbish
There lived an old woman in Mecca who did not like the Prophet Muhammad much at all. Every day as Muhammad passed the old woman’s house on his way to pray, she would throw rubbish out of her window onto his head.
Yet Muhammad would never complain. He would simply continue on his journey as if nothing had happened.
This continued, day after day, until one day, Muhammad passed by the old woman’s house and, to his surprise, no rubbish landed on his head. Muhammad looked around to see where the old woman was. When he couldn’t see her he became concerned so he went to the front door of the woman’s house and knocked.
“Come in” said a weak and feeble voice.
When Muhammad entered, he found the old woman in bed looking scared. Was Muhammad going to shout at her or punish her for throwing rubbish on his head every day?
“Don’t be scared” said Muhammad, “I’m not here to shout at you”.
Muhammad quickly realised that the old woman was very ill and unable to leave her bed. He therefore set about cleaning her house and making sure she had everything she needed to be comfortable.
The old woman was so impressed by Muhammad’s behaviour that she decided never to throw rubbish on his head ever again.]
[A relative of Imam Zayn al-Abidin who was standing beside him, raised his voice and started to abuse him. The Imam did not answer him until he went back to his house. At this moment, the Imam said to his companions, “Did you hear what this man said? I would like you to come with me to hear my response.” The Imam put on his shoes and set out with his companions saying to himself, …and those who restrain their anger and pardon men; and Allah loves the doers of the good. (3:134)
When they reached the house of that man, the Imam introduced himself to the servant who conveyed it to his master. The man who seemed to be looking for trouble came out. He was sure that the Imam had come for retaliation; rather, the Imam said, “My brother! A few minutes ago, you were standing beside me and said such and such words against me. If I am the one whom you described, I will ask for Allah’s forgiveness; but if what you said about me is not true, may Allah forgive you.” The man kissed the Imam’s forehead, saying, “What I said about you is not true and it is more deserving of me.”]
[Imam Zayn al-Abidin had a few guests; he asked his servant to be quick in preparing the food. The servant hastily brought the iron grid on which the meat had been grilled but it fell off his hand on the head of the Imam's child who was on the ground and killed him. Addressing the servant who was shocked and trembling from fear, the Imam said, “You did not do it intentionally. Therefore, you are free in the way of Allah.” He then took part in the funeral service of his child.]
No comments:
Post a Comment