Approval-seeking Mindset

How to Stop Worrying About Being Liked

What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.

Break out of your approval-seeking mindset

How much I depended on the approval of others. 

How is approval-seeking holding you back from your true self?There is a big difference between wanting approval and needing approval when you need approval.

The people who receive the most approval in life are the ones who care the least about it–so technically, if you want the approval of others, you need to stop caring about it.

The people who receive the least approval are the ones who are always going after it.

Those whose approval you seek most give you the least.

In healthy and well-developed individuals, they have come to realize that ultimately what matters is that they approve of their choices. 

An amazing thing happens when you stop seeking approval and validation: You find it. People are naturally drawn like magnets to those who know who they are and cannot be shaken!

Don’t seek approval. This may be the toughest suggestion for you to follow — and the most important. Whether you’re a teenager seeking approval from your peers, a middle-aged parent seeking the approval of your kids, or a man or woman seeking the approval of a partner, it all amounts to the same thing. You’re giving your personal power away every time you seek validation from someone else for who you are.

If you are an approval addict, your behavior is as easy to control as that of any other junkie. All a manipulator need do is a simple two-step process: Give you what you crave, and then threaten to take it away. Every drug dealer in the world plays this game.

Man’s desire for the approval of his fellows is so strong, his dread of their censure so violent, that he himself has brought his enemy (conscience) within his gates; and it keeps watch over him, vigilant always in the interests of its master to crush any half-formed desire to break away from the herd.

I much prefer the sharpest criticism of a single intelligent man to the thoughtless approval of the masses.

Not all approval is good news and not all disapproval is bad news. Imagine that you meet somebody and you think that he likes you. You wonder why. Then it dawns on you that he is a taker and that he probably likes you because he sees that he can take advantage of you. You realize that he approves of you for a rather unflattering reason. When you think through the meaning of this approval, it feels more like a criticism than a compliment.

Well, what if we turn this scenario around: you meet somebody and you think he doesn’t like you. You wonder why. Then it dawns on you: this person is threatened by your intelligence. You realize that his dislike of you is actually an indirect compliment. This disapproval confirms to you something that you do value about yourself.

My point? Evaluating yourself solely on the basis of others’ approval or disapproval can be misleading. The mere fact of others’ approval or disapproval of you is meaningless unless you understand and agree with the reasons behind others’ evaluations of you.

Why, as women, are we constantly seeking approval of others for everything we say and do?

Seeking approval of others is away to avoid how deeply we disapprove of ourselves.”

Courage requires that you follow your heart, do what is right and not be distracted by seeking approval of others.”

Funny how my world improved immediately when I stopped seeking approval of others and began approving of myself.

When you are your own best friend, you don’t endlessly seek out relationships, friendships, and validation from the wrong sources because you realize that the only approval and validation you need is your own.

Once you get rid of the idea that you must please other people before you please yourself, and you begin to follow your own instincts — only then can you be successful. You become more satisfied, and when you are, other people tend to be satisfied by what you do.

We are forever looking outside ourselves, seeking approval and striving to impress others. But living to please others is a poor substitute for self-love, for no matter how family and friends may adore us, they can never satisfy our visceral need to love and honor ourselves.

He’s not a ‘pat on the back’ type of guy and I am driven by the need for approval. He’s a stingy dealer, and I’m a needy addict.

Letting the need for approval determine your life has hugely stressful ramifications — look at the rate of celebrity-suicide. Did you know that there is a website called Kevo that tracks the approval rating of celebrities? Imagine the stress of perpetually living in fear that the ratings will go down!