Be Controller, Not Victim of Your Emotions
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow7gMRl0J-E
10% of the conflict is due to difference of opinion and 90% due to wrong tone of your voice, raise your words not your voice. It's rain that grows flowers, not thunders. Irritation created, it's expression came on face; then remembered doctor's advice; don't suppress, express it; then I spoke but I felt regret after that. It means transformation process started. Once anger created; it's difficult to suppress it; especially when we are not aware of the state. We are not aware that we are the creators of our thoughts. Our understanding was that thoughts are automatic. We can become able to understand the mechanism of creation of thought and anger process. Then we will be in better position to work to change the process.
Process means not instant, a growing exercise. On focusing, we come to know that what we said was not perfect. It's good sign. It means that process of understanding has been initiated. Change of awareness has an equation. We were justifying everything; criticism, anger, irritation, feelings hurt; we declared everything as natural. All known also helped us in this lame declaration. Then we got satisfied in ourselves what I am doing is right and others are wrong. Everyone is thinking in the same way and it's never ending process.
We have to break this cycle and initiation has to take place from me. This wrong justification is hurdle in the path of transformation. We spent most of time of our life in justifying our reactions. There is a flock of volunteer fellows to endorse, stamp it. We share only to those people who we are sure that they will endorse us and will do more than needed. Our reaction got more and more reinforced and it got becoming my lifestyle.
We work very hard to prove our justification as compared to understand and act in proper way. I'm a big shot and I'm not supposed to provide my ID to Airport Officers. I will go to higher authorities to get that officer transferred. When I got reinforced that I'm right, others are wrong then I'm stopped working on me for transformation. Justification and blaming is so common in routine life. Mother in law, husband, kids and everyone is under blame. Everyone is looking for justification and this is a big obstacle in the way of beginning the journey.
First step of changing any habit is stopping justification. Stop saying; I was right; other person was wrong. We have to check right or wrong of our reaction, not of issue. If others did something wrong; is not issue; what is my reaction; is the issue. We have to analyse our negative, uncomfortable reaction; which drains my energy, weakens me; affects my relationships; any tiny action like this is not good for me. Cigarette or alcohol; even if little; has no benefit; only loss and damage; not neutral. Even little damage has no justification. Any harmful, toxic thought is not good for me. One hour to ten min anger control; this is not fine. Ten cigarette to one smoking control; this is not fine. Our goal must be clear. Stop saying any uncomfortable reaction justified. On justifying it we are strengthening our thoughts. We are going to erase, not endorse. Majority of diseases are created from emotional blockages. Repeated frequent blockage is an energy blockage; cancer, diabetes, blood pressure, joint pain, heart problem are created with these blockages; treatment takes a lot of effort.
With the Courtesy of
Is Blaming a Poison
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKdNAU-JtpQ&t=7s
Once you realized and tried; the process of change started; this is for everyone, everywhere. Wherever attention goes, energy (thought process) flows, things happen. People say; anger, smoking is my nature. Actually they don't want to quit until they are justifying. Only smoking is my relaxant. We are naming medicine to the poison. Three steps to change any habit; 1) find all whys (cigarette, anger, drink), 2) how to change, these first two steps are easy 3) I want to change (create). This third stage is most important / difficult. I got angry, I got hurt, cigarette, alcohol; it was my mistake. Take this first step. This is the way to stop justification. That's right, I was wrong but what they did, was totally wrong (BLAME). I became sick, weather was tough (blame), NOT I am weak (responsibility). Second step; anger is my creation; not due to anybody else. Let anything (small, big) happen in this world; my reaction is my reaction. This is reality. We can say; it is difficult but this is next step; how to start change. First I believed that anger is poison; second I created anger.
Same scenario; same event occurred; today your mood is great; reaction will be totally different as compared to normal days when you just feel no good. In bad mood, small incident irritate you more. It means; you are responsible of reaction creation. Awareness works like this; response transformed. Talk in a friendly way, forgiveness, compassionate, irritate; all start from us; situations are same. Stop Justification and blame (take responsibility); two exercises. Let anger come; just think on it. Never ever will stop it. Take 100% complete responsibility.
10% of the conflict is due to difference of opinion and 90% due to wrong tone of your voice, raise your words not your voice. It's rain that grows flowers, not thunders. Raise the words means use powerful words. Raise the voice diminishes the quality of words. Energy became turbulent. We need to nourish like sprinklers in the farm; not like storm. Storm may damage the crops. What is the outcome of tone of voice and power of words. Practice to say such healthy words that others want to work, not only to do the job. Take care of the tone (anger) will help to control the emotions and words. Concise talk using positive language, mixed with love will work all ways nourishing.
With the Courtesy of
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